Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly, then add one or two complete supporting details. Correct the grammar in “I have my grandfather bought me” to “my grandfather bought me,” and say “when I was 14” rather than “when I was a 14 years old.” Avoid fillers and finish the sentence about your grandfather’s condition so that your answer is complete and coherent. Use a linking word such as “because” to explain why you were happy.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My grandfather bought it for me when I was 14, and I was extremely happy because cycling gave me more freedom. However, he said I could only ride it after finishing my homework.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and avoid repeating “because,” “it is,” and “friendly.” Use the plural pronoun “them” or repeat “bikes” instead of using “it,” and replace “paddle” with “pedal.” The natural expression is “cost-effective,” and “environmentally friendly” is more appropriate in this context. Add a specific example, such as commuters or students using bikes, to make the answer more developed.

例: Yes, I think bikes are quite popular in my country, especially among students and people who commute short distances. They are cost-effective because riders do not need to buy fuel, and they are also environmentally friendly. In addition, many people use them to avoid traffic during rush hour.

× Actually I have my grandfather bought me a bike when I was a 14 years old.

✓ Actually, my grandfather bought me a bike when I was 14 years old.

The question asks about a past experience, so use the simple past tense. Use bought instead of have bought because the action happened at a specific time in the past. When stating a person’s age, say was 14 years old, not was a 14 years old.

× Actually I have my grandfather bought me a bike when I was a 14 years old.

✓ Actually, my grandfather bought me a bike when I was 14 years old.

The structure have + subject + past-tense verb is incorrect here. Use the subject my grandfather directly before the verb bought. A clear sentence structure is subject + verb + object: my grandfather bought me a bike.

× when I was a 14 years old

✓ when I was 14 years old

Do not use the article a before a numerical age expression. Say I was 14 years old. The form a 14-year-old is correct only when the age functions as an adjective before a noun, as in a 14-year-old student.

× A lot of people use bikes these days and they use it more often because it is cost efficient. They do not need to buy fuel for it, they just need to paddle it.

✓ A lot of people use bikes these days, and they use them more often because they are cost-efficient. They do not need to buy fuel for them; they just need to paddle them.

The pronoun must agree with the plural noun bikes. Use them instead of it and they instead of it when referring to bikes. Use them consistently throughout the sentence.