Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is relevant and well developed: you give a direct answer, a specific age, and explain how you learned. However, “learned how to write” should be “learned how to ride,” and “By then” is less natural here than “At first.” The phrase “more and bigger bikes” should be changed to “larger bikes as I grew older,” and “as per my age” is unnecessary and unnatural. Avoid fillers such as “Uh” and use a clear linking word such as “Later” to connect the final idea.

例: Yes, I had my first bike when I was around eight years old. At first, I didn’t know how to ride it, but I learned by practicing on my own. Later, as I grew older, I moved on to larger bikes.

提案: You answer the question directly and make a useful comparison with the Netherlands and Denmark. However, the response contains repetition (“it is growing” and “the interest for bikes is growing”) and several unnatural phrases. Replace “one of the first ways of transportation” with “one of the main forms of transportation,” and say “interest in cycling is growing” rather than “interest for bikes is growing.” Use a clearer structure: state your overall opinion, compare Turkey with other countries, and then give the reason or trend. Avoid fillers such as “uh.”

例: Bikes are not as popular in Turkey as they are in the Netherlands or Denmark, where cycling is one of the main forms of transportation. However, cycling is becoming more popular here, especially in large cities. More people are riding bikes for exercise and short journeys, although traffic and limited bike lanes can still be a problem.

× By then I didn't know how to ride it, but then by practicing alone I learned how to write and then of course as I grew older I got more and bigger bikes.

✓ By then I didn't know how to ride it, but by practicing alone I learned how to ride, and as I grew older, I got bigger and bigger bikes.

When describing something that increases progressively, use the repeated comparative form bigger and bigger. The phrase more and bigger is not appropriate here because bigger already expresses the comparison of size.

× Uh, as per my age.

✓ They were appropriate for my age.

The original expression is a sentence fragment because it does not contain a main verb. A complete sentence needs a subject and a verb. Also, appropriate for my age is the natural expression for describing something suitable for a person's age.

× Bikes are not as popular in my country as they are in the Netherlands or Denmark where, uh, cycling is one of the first ways of transportation I can say.

✓ Bikes are not as popular in my country as they are in the Netherlands or Denmark, where cycling is one of the main means of transportation.

First usually describes position or sequence, not importance. Main is the appropriate adjective when you mean an important or commonly used form of transportation. Means of transportation is also the more natural expression in this context.

× The interest for bikes is growing here in Turkey.

✓ Interest in bikes is growing here in Turkey.

The noun interest is normally followed by the preposition in when referring to curiosity, enthusiasm, or increasing attention toward something. Therefore, interest in bikes is correct, not interest for bikes.

× Bikes are not as popular in my country as they are in the Netherlands or Denmark where, uh, cycling is one of the first ways of transportation I can say, but it is growing, uh, the interest for bikes is growing here in Turkey as people are riding.

✓ Bikes are not as popular in my country as they are in the Netherlands or Denmark, where cycling is one of the main means of transportation. However, interest in bikes is growing here in Turkey as more people ride them.

The original response contains several clauses joined with commas, creating a run-on sentence. Separate the ideas into two sentences and use however to show the contrast clearly. The revised sentence also makes the subject of is growing clear.