Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question more directly and use accurate grammar. Say “I didn’t have a bike” rather than “I didn’t have bike,” and avoid unclear phrases such as “love bikes too much till now” and “riding a bike itself.” The answer contains relevant details, but the ideas are repetitive and the final “And yes” is unnecessary. Use a clear structure: direct answer, explanation, and one specific personal detail.

例: No, I didn’t have a bike of my own when I was a child, but my father had one, so I often rode it with him. I’ve always enjoyed cycling, and I still ride a motorbike now that I’m older.

提案: Give a clear answer first, then explain why bikes are popular. The response is difficult to understand because it lists brands without explaining their relevance and includes incomplete phrases such as “companies who are like come up with new.” Also, “TV’s” appears to be an incorrect brand or word in this context. Avoid fillers such as “uh” and “like,” and use specific reasons, such as affordability, convenience, or heavy traffic. End with a complete sentence rather than stopping abruptly.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country, especially among young people and commuters. They are relatively affordable and convenient because they can move through heavy traffic more easily than cars. In addition, many well-known brands, such as Yamaha, Honda, and BMW, sell a wide range of models.

× No, I didn't have bike when I was a kid but definitely my father had it and I used to ride on it every day.

✓ No, I didn't have a bike when I was a kid, but my father definitely had one, and I used to ride it every day.

The singular countable noun bike needs the indefinite article a because it is mentioned for the first time. One is used to avoid repeating bike, and ride it is the more natural verb-pronoun combination.

× I actually love bikes too much till now.

✓ I still really like bikes.

Too much means excessively and does not express a continuing preference naturally in this sentence. Use still with the simple present to show that the feeling continues until now.

× Also at the age of 21 I am riding a bike itself.

✓ Also, when I was 21, I rode a bike myself.

The phrase when I was 21 refers to a completed time in the past, so the past-tense verb rode is required instead of the present continuous form am riding.

× Also at the age of 21 I am riding a bike itself.

✓ Also, when I was 21, I rode a bike myself.

Itself refers to a non-human singular noun, such as a bike. Because the speaker is emphasizing the subject I, the correct reflexive pronoun is myself.

× And yes.

✓ And yes, I did.

And yes is an incomplete sentence because it does not contain a main verb. The auxiliary verb did completes the answer and refers back to the question about having a bike.

× Yes, from my perspective, I really think that bikes are uh more popular in my country because there are various brands which are offering like their TV's, Yamaha's, their BMW is their hero Honda.

✓ Yes, from my perspective, I really think that bikes are more popular in my country because various brands offer them, such as TVS, Yamaha, BMW, and Hero Honda.

The original sentence has an unclear structure and an incorrectly formed list. Use the complete clause brands offer them, and introduce examples with such as. Brand names used as names do not need apostrophes or possessive forms in this list.

× There are several companies who are uh, like come up with new.

✓ There are several companies that have come up with new models.

The phrase are like come up is not a complete or grammatical verb phrase, and new needs a noun to complete its meaning. Use have come up with new models to form a complete clause and clearly state what is new.