Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly and organize the response chronologically. Correct the grammar in “didn't had” to “didn't have,” and say “when I was around 12” instead of “around 12 years old.” Avoid redundancy such as “gifted me a bike as a gift,” repeated words, and fillers like “my, my” and “uh.” Use “ride it” rather than “ride on,” “was used to four-wheeled vehicles” rather than “I'm used to the four wheel,” and make the subject clear when describing who taught you. Linking words such as “however,” “at first,” and “eventually” would make the story more coherent.

例: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was nine, but my grandfather gave me one when I was about twelve. At first, I found it difficult to ride because I was used to traveling in four-wheeled vehicles. However, my friends encouraged me and taught me how to ride, so I eventually became more confident.

提案: Give a clearer topic sentence, such as “No, bikes are not particularly popular in Malaysia.” Avoid the grammatical structure “bikes are not as popular as countries”; compare bikes with cycling culture or bicycle use in other countries. Improve “Malaysia is a very tropical humid climate” to “Malaysia has a hot and humid tropical climate,” and replace “for convenient and safety” with “for convenience and safety.” Avoid repeating “because” by dividing the explanation into two sentences, and add a specific example, such as heavy rain, hot weather, or the lack of bike lanes.

例: No, bicycles are not especially popular in Malaysia compared with countries such as Japan or the Netherlands. This is mainly because we have a hot, humid climate and frequent heavy rain, which can make cycling uncomfortable. In addition, many cities lack dedicated bike lanes, so people usually rely on cars or trains for convenience and safety.

× When I was around 9 years old, I didn't had a bike.

✓ When I was around 9 years old, I didn't have a bike.

After the past auxiliary did or didn't, the main verb must be in its base form. Therefore, use have, not had.

× I had a bike around 12 years old.

✓ I had a bike when I was around 12 years old.

The phrase around 12 years old needs a subject and a time conjunction. Use when I was around 12 years old to clearly describe your age at that time.

× At first I didn't know how to ride on because I'm used to the four wheel.

✓ At first, I didn't know how to ride it because I was used to traveling on four wheels.

The answer describes a past experience, so was used to is more consistent than am used to. Also, ride it requires the pronoun it as the object, and four wheels must be plural.

× At first I didn't know how to ride on because I'm used to the four wheel.

✓ At first, I didn't know how to ride it because I was used to traveling on four wheels.

Wheel is countable and refers to more than one wheel in this expression, so use the plural form wheels. The natural phrase is traveling on four wheels.

× Me and my friends encouraged me how to ride a bike and he taught me how.

✓ My friends encouraged me to learn how to ride a bike, and they taught me how.

Use the subject pronoun my friends before the verb instead of me. Because friends is plural, use they rather than he.

× Me and my friends encouraged me how to ride a bike and he taught me how.

✓ My friends encouraged me to learn how to ride a bike, and they taught me how.

Encourage is normally followed by an object and a to-infinitive, such as encouraged me to learn. The revised sentence also connects the two related ideas more clearly.

× I think bikes in my country are not as popular as countries like Japan or England.

✓ I think bikes in my country are not as popular as they are in countries like Japan or England.

The sentence compares bikes with countries, which are different types of things. The comparison should be between the popularity of bikes in Malaysia and their popularity in other countries.

× Malaysia is a very tropical humid climate.

✓ Malaysia has a very tropical and humid climate.

Malaysia is a country, not a climate, so it cannot be followed directly by is a climate. Use has to show that Malaysia possesses a climate, and include and between the two adjectives.

× So mostly we use cars or trains for convenient and safety.

✓ Therefore, we mostly use cars or trains for convenience and safety.

The adverb mostly is more naturally placed after the subject and before the main verb: we mostly use. Therefore also creates a clearer connection with the previous reason.

× So mostly we use cars or trains for convenient and safety.

✓ Therefore, we mostly use cars or trains for convenience and safety.

Convenient is an adjective, but this sentence needs a noun parallel to safety. Use convenience and safety.