Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly and avoid unclear or repeated phrases such as “I was still I” and “bicycle in my cycle.” Use natural expressions like “go for long bike rides” and explain one specific reason why you enjoyed cycling. Keep the answer to two or three clear sentences and connect your ideas with “because” or “so.”

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I loved going on long bike rides around my neighborhood because I enjoyed being outdoors and exploring new places. I still enjoy cycling in nature whenever I have the chance.

提案: Give a clear opinion first, then support it with accurate and specific reasons. Avoid fillers, repetition, and incorrect phrases such as “male writers,” “female writers,” and “a influen in influencing thing.” Use “male and female cyclists,” “many women have become professional cyclists,” and “this has encouraged more girls to take up cycling.” Remember that “there are” is used with plural nouns, and “who have” agrees with “cyclists.”

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country. There are many male and female cyclists, and several successful women have become professional riders. Their achievements have encouraged more girls to take up cycling, especially in large cities.

× I was still I.

✓ I was still a child.

The original sentence does not express a complete and meaningful idea in this context. Use a noun phrase such as a child after the verb was to explain the speaker's situation clearly.

× I still love the nature and bicycle in my cycle.

✓ I still love nature and riding my bicycle.

Nature is being used in a general sense, so it usually does not take the definite article the. Also, riding my bicycle is the natural grammatical expression for this activity.

× There is so many not only male writers, they're female writers...

✓ There are many, not only male riders but also female riders...

Use are instead of is because the noun phrase many riders is plural. The structure not only X but also Y should be used to connect the two groups correctly.

× There is so many not only male writers, they're female writers...

✓ There are many, not only male riders but also female riders...

Many must be followed by a plural countable noun. Therefore, use riders rather than a singular noun, and use the plural verb are.

× There is so many not only male writers, they're female writers who has been certified.

✓ There are many, not only male riders but also female riders who have been certified.

The original sentence incorrectly joins the ideas with a comma and they are. The correct paired conjunction is not only...but also, which clearly connects the two groups.

× Female writers who has been certified.

✓ Female riders who have been certified.

The relative pronoun who refers to the plural noun riders, so the auxiliary verb must be have, not has.

× I've been such a influen in influencing thing in our country...

✓ I have had such an influence in my country...

Use an before a word that begins with a vowel sound. Influence is a noun, so the correct phrase is such an influence. The expression I have had such an influence is also grammatically natural.

× I've been such a influen in influencing thing in our country and influence so many girls.

✓ I have had such an influence in my country and have influenced so many girls.

The original sentence uses influence incorrectly after and. To maintain parallel verb forms, use have influenced after have had. The word influence is also a noun in the first part of the sentence and a verb in the second part.