Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear, direct, and well organized. You provide specific details about your age, your father, and your feelings, and you use linking words such as “but” effectively. However, “write it” should be “ride it.” You could also use a more natural phrase such as “learned how to ride it,” and slightly reduce repetition by combining the final ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, I did. I got my first bike when I was about six, and my dad taught me how to ride it. I was quite scared at first, but I felt extremely excited and proud when I finally learned how to ride it on my own.

提案: You answer the question directly and give a relevant example about public bikes, QR codes, and their convenience. However, several phrases are unnatural or grammatically inaccurate: say “throughout the day” instead of “every time during the day,” “in big cities” instead of “at the big cities,” and “there are many public bikes” instead of “it provides many public bikes.” Also, avoid repeating “and”; use linking words such as “because,” “which,” and “as a result” to make the answer more coherent. Keep the answer to three or four well-connected sentences.

例: Yes, definitely. Bikes are very popular in China, especially in big cities, where you can see people riding them throughout the day. There are many public bicycles with QR codes, so people can simply scan them and start riding. They are inexpensive and convenient, which makes them a popular form of transport.

× You can literally see people riding bikes on the street every time during the day, especially at the big cities.

✓ You can literally see people riding bikes on the street every time during the day, especially in the big cities.

Use the preposition in, rather than at, with cities because we normally say people live or travel in a city. For general statements, however, big cities is more natural than the big cities.

× You can literally see people riding bikes on the street every time during the day, especially at the big cities.

✓ You can literally see people riding bikes on the street every time during the day, especially in big cities.

The definite article the is not needed before big cities when referring to cities in general. Use the big cities only when talking about specific cities that have already been identified.

× Like in China it provides many public bikes on the street and they usually have QR codes on it and you can just scan it and ride it and it's very cheap and convenient.

✓ For example, in China, there are many public bikes on the street, and they usually have QR codes on them. You can just scan one and ride it, and it is very cheap and convenient.

Use there are to introduce the existence of plural nouns such as many public bikes. The structure it provides many public bikes does not clearly express that these bikes exist in China.

× Like in China it provides many public bikes on the street and they usually have QR codes on it and you can just scan it and ride it and it's very cheap and convenient.

✓ For example, in China, there are many public bikes on the street, and they usually have QR codes on them. You can just scan one and ride it, and it is very cheap and convenient.

The pronoun them is required because it refers to the plural noun bikes. The word one is clearer than it when referring to one QR code from the plural group of QR codes.

× Like in China it provides many public bikes on the street and they usually have QR codes on it and you can just scan it and ride it and it's very cheap and convenient.

✓ For example, in China, there are many public bikes on the street. They usually have QR codes on them, so you can scan one and ride a bike. It is very cheap and convenient.

The original sentence is a run-on sentence because several complete ideas are joined with and without appropriate punctuation or sentence boundaries. Divide the ideas into shorter sentences and use linking words such as so to make the relationship between them clear.