Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Clarify and organize your response. Start with a clear topic sentence answering the question, then provide one or two brief supporting details that are coherent and relevant. Avoid unrelated words (e.g. “to write”) and grammatical errors. Use linking words if you add details (for example: “because” or “so”).

例: Yes, I did. I was very excited because my father gave me a bicycle as a present when I was eight. Because it was my first bike, I rode it to school and around the neighborhood almost every day, which helped me become more independent.

提案: Make your answer more natural, precise and grammatically correct. Begin with a direct statement, then give two clear reasons with linking words and specific examples. Use correct noun phrases and verbs (e.g. “a popular mode of transport,” “because,” “so”). Avoid vague phrases like “different package.”

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. They are an affordable and convenient mode of transport for many people, because they cost less to buy and maintain. In busy cities, bicycles can often navigate traffic more easily, so many commuters choose them for short journeys.

× Yes, I like I was excited because my father gave me a gift to write.

✓ Yes, I was very excited when my father gave me a bicycle as a gift.

The original sentence has mixed and unclear structure: 'I like I was excited' is ungrammatical and 'gift to write' is incorrect word choice. This is a sentence structure error (ID 26). Suggest using a clear simple past statement 'I was very excited' to match the past-tense question and replace 'gift to write' with the appropriate noun phrase 'a bicycle as a gift'. Use 'when' to indicate the time of the event.

× Yes, the different package is popular in my country because it easy means of transporting and it is affordable to everyone easily.

✓ Yes, bicycles of different types are popular in my country because they are an easy means of transportation and are affordable for most people.

Multiple issues: 'the different package' is an incorrect noun phrase and 'it easy means' lacks verb agreement and article. This primarily reflects incorrect use of adjectives/adverbs and awkward noun choice (ID 13). Correct by using 'bicycles of different types' and ensure subject-verb agreement 'they are an easy means of transportation' and use 'affordable for most people' for natural phrasing.

× In traffic areas it is easy to transfer.

✓ In congested traffic areas it is easy to get around.

'Easy to transfer' is unnatural and structurally awkward in English; this is a sentence structure error (ID 26). Use 'get around' or 'travel' to express moving through traffic. Add adjective 'congested' to clarify 'traffic areas'. Ensure the sentence reads naturally and fits present-tense general statement.