Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition and filler words, and add one specific detail about the bike or a memory. Use linking words only if adding an extra detail. Keep the answer to no more than 3–4 short sentences.

例: Yes — I had a small red bicycle that I loved. It was a simple steel frame with a bell and a wicker basket. However, after a year the chain kept slipping, so my father finally repaired it and I could ride again.

提案: Give a clear direct opinion first, then add a specific reason and a brief comparison using linking words. Correct grammar and word order: avoid awkward phrasing like "people less than use bikes." Keep supporting details specific (who uses them, why popularity changed).

例: I don’t think bikes are as popular now as they used to be. When I was a child, many older people rode bikes for shopping and commuting; however, today more people prefer cars or motorbikes because they are faster and more convenient.

× Yes, I had, I had a small red bicycle and I loved it, but uh, some of the uh, it broke.

✓ Yes, I had a small red bicycle and I loved it, but it broke.

The original sentence contains unnecessary repetition of 'I had' and the phrase 'some of the uh, it broke' is ungrammatical. This is primarily a past tense sentence so the verbs 'had', 'loved', and 'broke' are correct in past tense. Remove the repeated 'I had' and replace the unclear phrase with a simple past clause 'it broke' to make the sentence grammatical and fluent. Suggestion: speak in concise clauses and avoid filler words like 'uh' when writing; if speaking, try to pause instead of repeating words.

× When I was a child, many old people used bikes for daily routines, but nowadays people less than use bikes in every day.

✓ When I was a child, many older people used bikes for daily routines, but nowadays fewer people use bikes every day.

This sentence has several problems: 'old people' is better as 'older people' (word choice/register), 'less than use bikes' is ungrammatical for countable people and should be 'fewer people use bikes', and 'in every day' is incorrect prepositional/adverbial use — use 'every day'. The main grammar problem falls under sentence structure errors because multiple parts are mis-ordered or misused. Use 'fewer' with countable nouns, place the verb directly after the subject ('fewer people use'), and use 'every day' as two words when meaning 'each day'.