Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and clear. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details (when, why, how you felt). Avoid repetition, filler words (uh), and grammar errors (use 'a scholarship', 'in class 5', 'bought/gave me a bicycle'). Keep answers to fewer than five sentences and use linking words like 'because' or 'so'.

例: Yes. I received a bicycle when I was in class 5 because I won a scholarship and my father used the prize money to buy it for me. I was very happy because it made it easier to travel to school and I felt proud of my achievement.

提案: Give a clear direct answer, then support it with two specific reasons or examples. Avoid repetition and vague phrases. Use linking words like 'because', 'for example', or 'also' to connect ideas. Use precise vocabulary (brands, affordability, transport, rural areas) and correct grammar ('competing with each other'). Keep it to under five sentences.

例: Yes, bicycles are very popular in Bangladesh because they are affordable and convenient for short trips. For example, many students and workers use bicycles to commute, and domestic brands compete with imported ones to offer low-cost models. Also, bicycles remain common in rural areas where public transport is limited.

× Yes, I had, I had it, uh, in the, my class 5, uh, I got an scholarship and my dad wanted me to give, give a bicycle from that which I am very happy in that moment.

✓ Yes, I had one. In class 5, I got a scholarship and my dad gave me a bicycle, which made me very happy at that moment.

Multiple past-tense and wording problems: 'I had, I had it' is repetitive so simplify to 'I had one.' 'In the, my class 5' is incorrect order; correct is 'in class 5.' 'I got an scholarship' uses wrong article; use 'a scholarship.' The phrase 'my dad wanted me to give, give a bicycle from that' is incorrect passive/intent structure — the intended meaning is that the dad gave the bicycle, so use 'my dad gave me a bicycle.' 'which I am very happy in that moment' mixes present tense and incorrect preposition; use past tense 'made me very happy at that moment.' Suggestions: keep consistent past tense, use correct article 'a', maintain clear subject-verb structure, and place time expressions ('in class 5') correctly.

× Yes, bikes are very popular in our country, in Bangladesh, there are a lot of brands out there.

✓ Yes, bikes are very popular in my country, Bangladesh; there are a lot of brands available.

Awkward repetition and comma use: 'in our country, in Bangladesh' is redundant — use one phrase 'my country, Bangladesh' or 'in Bangladesh.' 'Out there' is informal and vague; 'available' is clearer. Also use a semicolon or new sentence to separate ideas for clarity. Suggestion: avoid redundancy, choose precise words, and separate clauses correctly.

× All the brands are competing each each other and trying to expand their business throughout the world and also have a bike which is not very known, not very known and.

✓ All the brands are competing with each other and trying to expand their businesses worldwide, and some have models that are not well known.

Several issues: 'competing each each other' is incorrect; correct phrase is 'competing with each other' (preposition required). 'Expand their business throughout the world' is acceptable but 'businesses worldwide' is more natural and matches plural 'brands'. Repetition 'not very known, not very known and' is ungrammatical; use 'not well known' and clarify what 'have a bike' means — 'some have models that are not well known.' Suggestions: use correct preposition 'with', ensure noun number agreement ('businesses' for multiple brands), avoid repetition, and clarify reference (models/bikes).