Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammatical accuracy, reduce hesitation and unnecessary repetition, and use clearer pronouns. Start with a direct topic sentence, follow with 2–3 concise supporting details, and avoid slangy or incorrect phrasing (e.g., "threw him away"). Replace filler words ("uh, umm") with brief pauses. Use past tense consistently for a childhood story.

例: Yes. I had a small pink bicycle that a friend of my father gave me. I loved riding it around our neighborhood when I was very young. However, by the time I started primary school I had grown too tall for it, so my parents sold it to a neighbor.

提案: Make answers more precise and use correct vocabulary and linking words. Begin with a clear opinion sentence, then add 2–3 specific reasons or examples using connectors like "because", "for example", or "in addition". Correct phrases such as "scan a cure code" to "scan a QR code", and avoid vague comparisons like "kind of like taxi" — explain how sharing bikes differ from taxis.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in China, mainly because of the widespread bike-sharing systems. For example, people can scan a QR code with their phones to unlock a bike, which makes short trips quick and cheap. In addition, bike sharing reduces traffic congestion and is convenient for commuting and running errands.

× Yeah, I have a bike when I was a kid and it was given by my father's friends.

✓ Yeah, I had a bike when I was a kid and it was given to me by my father's friends.

The sentence mixes present tense 'have' with past time marker 'when I was a kid'. Use past tense 'had'. Also the passive phrase 'given by my father's friends' needs the indirect object: 'given to me' clarifies who received the bike. Suggestion: keep past tense throughout and include the recipient after 'given'.

× I love that bike and I think it was in, uh, in pink.

✓ I loved that bike and I think it was pink.

The speaker refers to a past preference about a childhood bike, so use past tense 'loved' instead of present 'love'. Also 'was in pink' is unnatural; use 'was pink'. Suggestion: match tense to the time frame and use standard adjective construction 'was pink'.

× But later when I entered primary school, I, umm, I was too big so I couldn't fit in that bike.

✓ But later, when I entered primary school, I was too big so I couldn't fit on that bike.

The sequence is past so 'entered' and 'was' are correct. The preposition 'in' is incorrect with 'fit' for bicycles; the correct preposition is 'on' (fit on a bike). Also add a comma after 'later' for clarity. Suggestion: use 'fit on that bike' and keep past tense.

× So then I threw, I threw him away.

✓ So then I threw it away.

A bike is an object and should be referred to with the pronoun 'it', not 'him'. Repeat 'I threw' is redundant; one verb is enough. Suggestion: use 'it' for inanimate objects and avoid unnecessary repetition.

× Yeah, of course this is very popular in China and especially nowadays we have sharing bikes so people don't have to buy one by themselves.

✓ Yeah, of course they are very popular in China, and especially nowadays we have shared bikes so people don't have to buy one themselves.

The subject 'bikes' is plural, so use 'they are' not 'this is'. 'Sharing bikes' is better expressed as 'shared bikes' or 'bike-sharing services'. 'Buy one by themselves' is wordy; 'buy one themselves' is more natural. Suggestion: match subject and verb number and use 'shared bikes' or 'bike-sharing services'.

× They can only just scan a cure code and then they got a bike for themselves, but it's kind of like taxi so you can ride it for a while and then you put them back on the street and that's it.

✓ They can just scan a QR code and then they get a bike for themselves, but it's kind of like a taxi so you can ride it for a while and then you put it back on the street and that's it.

Multiple issues: 'cure code' is likely 'QR code' (typo). 'Can only just' is redundant; 'can just' suffices. Tense consistency: use present 'get' instead of past 'got'. Pronoun agreement: 'bike' is singular, so use 'it' not 'them'. Also use article 'a taxi' and avoid 'for themselves' repetition; context already implies user. Suggestion: use 'scan a QR code', maintain present tense, and keep pronouns consistent.