Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar, use a clear topic sentence and 1–2 supporting details with linking words. Correct tense agreement (use past tense) and avoid fillers like “uh” or “umm.” For example, start with a direct sentence about having the bike, then briefly explain the training wheels and the result.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. It originally had training wheels, but after a few weeks I removed them so I could learn to balance. As a result, I became confident riding on two wheels and still enjoy cycling today.

提案: Give a clear direct opinion, then support it with a specific reason and use linking words. Avoid vague phrases and repetitions; correct grammar (plural/singular, possessive). Mention a concrete example and its effect.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because many people use them for short trips. For example, the city recently created dedicated bike lanes, which make cycling safer and faster for commuters.

× I used to have a bike when I was a child. I remember it has four wheels and after a while I removed two of them, uh, because I should learn how to use the bike as it was like with two wheels. Umm, right now I'm really good at.

✓ I used to have a bike when I was a child. I remember it had four wheels and after a while I removed two of them because I had to learn how to ride the bike with two wheels. Now I'm really good at it.

The student mixes past and present tenses incorrectly. 'I remember it has four wheels' should be past tense 'had' because the memory refers to a past object. 'I removed two of them' is correct past, but 'because I should learn' is unnatural; use past obligation 'had to learn'. 'Use the bike as it was like with two wheels' is awkward; 'ride the bike with two wheels' is idiomatic. Finally, 'right now I'm really good at' is incomplete and needs the object 'it'. Suggestions: keep past events in past tense, use 'had to' for past obligation, and include the correct verb 'ride' and object 'it'.

× Yes, it's really popular in my country uh, and also recently there was a bike zone that only bikes can uh, go in that line, so which makes bike user's life more easier and as it seems.

✓ Yes, bikes are really popular in my country, and recently there has been a bike zone where only bikes can go, which makes cyclists' lives easier.

Multiple tense and agreement problems: 'it's really popular' is vague; use 'bikes are really popular' to match plural subject. 'Recently there was a bike zone' is acceptable but 'has been' is better to show recent change still relevant. 'That only bikes can go in that line' is ungrammatical; use a relative clause 'where only bikes can go'. 'Which makes bike user's life more easier' has possessive and comparative errors: use plural possessive 'cyclists' lives' and remove 'more' before 'easier' (easier is comparative, 'more easier' is incorrect). Also 'as it seems' is unnecessary. Suggestions: match subject number, use present perfect for recent developments, use correct relative clauses, correct possessive plural, and avoid double comparatives.