Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct tense and pronoun agreement, and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I did. I had a small blue bike when I was a child, and I used to ride it around our neighborhood every afternoon. We often cycled to the local park to explore and sometimes had friendly races, which made me feel free and excited.

提案: Answer more directly and use more natural linking words and clearer reasons. Avoid fillers (uh) and mismatched pronouns. Give a brief comparison and one specific reason or example.

例: Not really. Bicycles are uncommon in my country because most people prefer cars for convenience and speed. For example, long commutes and limited cycling infrastructure make driving a car more practical for many families.

× I had a small blue bike and by Brighton and I used to ride it around our neighborhood every afternoon.

✓ I had a small blue bike from Brighton, and I used to ride it around our neighborhood every afternoon.

The original sentence has an unclear prepositional phrase 'by Brighton and' causing sentence structure confusion. This is a sentence structure error (ID 26) and also relates to incorrect use of prepositions (ID 11). Use 'from Brighton' if you mean where the bike was bought or 'by Brighton' should be rephrased. Also add a comma and conjunction to join the two clauses correctly. Suggestion: specify the intended meaning (e.g., 'from Brighton' or 'near Brighton') and use a comma before the coordinating conjunction 'and'.

× We were so happy to explore the park and I feel free when we had race it, we had races.

✓ We were so happy to explore the park, and I felt free when we had races.

This sentence mixes past and present tenses and has awkward word order. The student describes past experiences, so maintain past tense throughout: 'felt' instead of 'feel'. The phrase 'when we had race it' is ungrammatical; use the noun 'races' and say 'when we had races' or 'when we raced'. Also combine clauses with a comma and conjunction for clarity. This addresses present tense issue (ID 6) and sentence structure errors (ID 26).

× No, I don't. Bikes are not popular in our country cause mostly people ride a car.

✓ No, I don't. Bikes are not popular in our country because most people drive cars.

'Mostly people' and 'ride a car' are nonstandard. Use 'most people' and the verb 'drive' with plural 'cars' to match general meaning. 'Cause' should be written as 'because' in formal speech. This is an incorrect use of pronouns/quantifiers and verb choice (ID 12 and ID 14); here corrected to proper determiners and verb usage and plural agreement.

× I prefer riding car rather than riding bicycle 'cause it's, uh, faster and it's uh, more valuable in our country.

✓ I prefer driving a car rather than riding a bicycle because it's faster and more valuable in our country.

Use 'driving a car' not 'riding car' and include articles 'a' before singular count nouns: 'a car' and 'a bicycle'. Remove filler 'uh' for clarity and use 'because' instead of 'cause' in formal correction. 'More valuable' is awkward but acceptable if meaning 'more practical' or 'more valuable'—consider replacing with 'more practical' if that was intended. This addresses verb + -ing form (ID 8), article errors (ID 22), and incorrect use of conjunction/colloquial 'cause' (ID 16).