Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail. Use correct tense and prepositions, avoid redundancy, and keep to under five sentences. Add a linking word when giving the reason.

例: No, I didn't have a bicycle as a child. I grew up in a compact city where most places were within walking distance, so I usually walked to school and church. Because everything was nearby, there was no need for a bike.

提案: Improve clarity, grammar and coherence. Begin with a direct opinion sentence, then give two concise, specific reasons using linking words (for example, 'because' and 'also'). Correct word choice (bikes, promote, rely) and avoid repetition. Keep under five sentences.

例: Yes, I think bicycles are becoming more popular in my country. This is mainly because the government encourages low-emission transport to fight global warming, and many people also choose cycling for health and to save money on commuting.

× I didn't have a bicycle when I was a child because I live in a city area there we don't need usually bicycles and all and my school and church were so near so I used to go by walk, not any vehicles.

✓ I didn't have a bicycle when I was a child because I lived in a city area where we usually didn't need bicycles, and my school and church were so near that I used to walk, not use any vehicles.

Multiple tense and related errors: 'live' should be past tense 'lived' to match 'when I was a child'. 'don't need usually' is incorrect word order and tense; change to 'usually didn't need'. 'there we' should be 'where we' to use correct relative pronoun. 'go by walk' is incorrect collocation; use 'walk'. 'not any vehicles' is awkward; use 'not use any vehicles' or 'without using vehicles'. Suggestion: keep all verbs in past tense for past context, use proper word order (adverb before main verb), and use correct prepositions and collocations like 'walk' and 'where'.

× As of course buys are very much popular because our country almost promote the transportation which is not using fuel and gas due to the global warming.

✓ Of course, bikes are very popular because our country almost always promotes fuel-free transportation due to global warming.

Several sentence structure and word choice issues: 'As of course' is incorrect; use 'Of course'. 'buys' is a misspelling of 'bikes'. 'very much popular' is unidiomatic; use 'very popular'. 'almost promote' is unclear; likely 'almost always promotes' or 'largely promotes'. 'the transportation which is not using fuel and gas' is wordy; use 'fuel-free transportation'. Maintain present simple tense for general statements. Suggestion: use correct vocabulary, fix spelling, and simplify phrase to natural English.

× So many people due to they are very concerned about their health issues and also they are very relying on the bice of work.

✓ Many people are very concerned about their health and also rely on bikes for work.

Pronoun and structure errors: 'So many people due to they are' is ungrammatical; remove 'due to' or rephrase as 'because they are'. 'their health issues' is acceptable but more natural as 'their health'. 'they are very relying on the bice of work' contains wrong continuous form and misspelling: 'are very relying' should be 'rely' (simple present) and 'bice' should be 'bikes'; 'of work' should be 'for work'. Suggestion: use correct verb form for habitual actions (simple present), remove unnecessary filler words, and correct spelling.'}]} </ReportGrammarArguments> PMID:12345Compliance Note: End of response. PMID not real.)