Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct, use correct tense and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence (past tense), give one or two concise supporting details, and use linking words for coherence. Correct common errors: 'I didn't have a bike when I was a child.' and 'I usually walked to school.' Remove repeated phrases and avoid mixing present and past tenses.

例: I didn't have a bike when I was a child. I usually walked to school because my house was nearby, and sometimes I went with friends. Later, I had a bicycle that I rode to tuition classes and to visit relatives.

提案: Give a clear opinion, support it with specific reasons and use linking words. Use consistent grammar and more precise vocabulary (e.g. 'popular', 'commute', 'accidents', 'risky'). Avoid repetition and informal contractions like ' 'cause'. A balanced response could mention where bikes are popular and why, then briefly state your personal view.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country, especially in cities where people use them to commute short distances because they are affordable and convenient. However, I don't prefer riding a bike myself because I think traffic conditions make it risky and there is a higher chance of accidents.

× No, I don't have any bike in my childhood.

✓ No, I didn't have any bike in my childhood.

The sentence refers to a past time period ('in my childhood'), so the past tense is required. 'Don't have' is present tense and incorrect here. Also 'any bike' is acceptable but 'a bike' or 'any bikes' could be better; keep 'any bike' if emphasizing none. Suggestion: use past simple 'didn't have' to match the time reference.

× I usually go, I usually went to my school by walking.

✓ I usually walked to school.

This sentence mixes present ('usually go') and past ('usually went') and is wordy. Because the context is past ('when you were a child'), use past habitual form 'usually walked'. 'By walking' is redundant after 'walked', and 'to my school' is more naturally 'to school' in English.

× So I don't have any bike, but I do have a bicycle which I which I which I which I rode to go to my school or to go to my tuition or any other places.

✓ So I didn't have any bike, but I did have a bicycle which I rode to school or to my tuition or to other places.

Multiple issues: tense inconsistency ('don't have' present vs past context) so change to 'didn't have' and 'did have'. Repetition 'which I which I...' is redundant; use a single 'which I rode'. 'To go to my school' is wordy; 'to school' is natural. 'Any other places' should be 'other places' or 'any other place(s)'. Ensure past simple 'rode' matches past context.

× Yeah, bikes are mostly popular in my country and most of the people here in the cities usually bike, usually rides bikes to go to their offices.

✓ Yeah, bikes are quite popular in my country and most people in the cities usually ride bikes to go to their offices.

Use 'are ... popular' is acceptable but 'mostly popular' is awkward; 'quite popular' or 'very popular' is better. 'Most of the people' is wordier than 'most people'. 'Usually bike' (verb) is possible but informal; 'usually ride bikes' is clearer. 'Usually rides' is incorrect because 'most people' is plural, so use 'ride' (subject-verb agreement).

× But I personally don't like bikes 'cause it can create a problem, it can create a road accident and it is a little bit dangerous vehicle.

✓ But I personally don't like bikes because they can cause problems or accidents, and a bike is a somewhat dangerous vehicle.

The original mixes singular 'it' with plural 'bikes'; use 'they' for plural or rephrase singular ('a bike is'). 'Cause' is better than 'create' for accidents. 'A little bit dangerous vehicle' is ungrammatical; use 'a somewhat dangerous vehicle' or 'a bit dangerous'. Also avoid informal ''cause'. Ensure pronoun agreement and correct article before 'vehicle'.