Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant, with a direct topic sentence and supporting details. To improve, make sentences more concise, correct minor grammar (e.g., use simple past consistently and natural phrases), add one linking word for coherence, and avoid redundancy. Aim for more specific details (e.g., ages, frequency, feelings) to enrich content without exceeding five sentences.

例: I didn’t have a bike as a child because my parents thought it was unsafe for a young child. As a result, I usually walked to my friend’s house, which was only about ten minutes away. Although I felt disappointed at times, I understood their concern and got used to walking every day.

提案: Your response addresses the question but is repetitive and ends abruptly. Improve by giving a clear topic sentence, one or two specific supporting reasons or examples, use linking words (e.g., "because", "for example"), correct grammar and reduce repetition. Finish the thought and keep it within five sentences.

例: I don’t think bicycles are very popular in my country because many parents consider them unsafe for children. For example, families often prefer driving children to playdates rather than letting them cycle around the neighborhood. As a result, cycling is more common for exercise than for everyday travel.

× No, I never had a bike when I was a child, because my parents thought it was unsafe for me.

✓ No, I never had a bike when I was a child because my parents thought it was unsafe for me.

Remove the comma before 'because' when the cause clause is essential; this is punctuation, but sentence is otherwise correct in past tense. Use simple past 'had' and 'thought' which match the past time frame. Suggestion: Keep simple past verbs consistent and avoid an unnecessary comma before 'because' in essential clauses.

× Therefore I had to walk to my friend's house, and luckily it wasn't that far.

✓ Therefore I had to walk to my friend's house, and luckily it wasn't very far.

Phrase 'not that far' is informal but acceptable; changed to 'very far' for clarity. Verbs 'had' and 'was' are correct past forms matching the time frame. Suggestion: Use 'very' instead of 'that' for clearer formality; maintain past tense.

× Even though I was feeling sad about it, I knew it was the best for me.

✓ Even though I felt sad about it, I knew it was best for me.

Both 'was feeling' and 'felt' are grammatically correct; 'felt' (simple past) is more natural and concise here. 'Knew it was best for me' removes the extra article for natural phrasing. Suggestion: Prefer simple past for completed feelings in the past and use concise structures.

× I don't think that bikes are popular in my country.

✓ I don't think bikes are popular in my country.

Sentence is correct; removed unnecessary 'that' for natural spoken English. Present tense 'don't think' is appropriate for current opinion. Suggestion: Omit 'that' to sound more natural in speech.

× Parents care a lot about their children so they prevent them from having bikes and they make them walk to their friends to their friend houses and play without any tools to make

✓ Parents care a lot about their children, so they prevent them from having bikes. They make them walk to their friends' houses and play without any toys or equipment.

Multiple errors: run-on sentence, incorrect possessive 'friend houses' (should be friends' houses), awkward phrase 'play without any tools to make' (unclear). Also punctuation needed between clauses. Corrections break into two sentences, use plural possessive for friends' houses, and replace 'tools' with 'toys or equipment' for clarity. Suggestion: Use possessive form for plural friends (friends'), split long sentences, and choose the correct noun ('toys' or 'equipment') to express intended meaning.