Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise, correct factual or word-choice errors, and add clearer supporting detail with linking words. Start with a direct topic sentence, avoid irrelevant or incorrect labels (e.g., 'Muslim towns' seems misplaced), and give one or two specific reasons or an example. Keep answers to no more than five sentences and use linking words like 'because' or 'so' to connect ideas.

例: No, I didn’t. I grew up in busy cities—first Cambridge and then Chicago—so my parents thought it was unsafe for a young child to cycle near heavy traffic. For example, there were many main roads close to my home, so they preferred I learn to ride in a safer environment later on.

提案: Provide a clearer topic sentence, use smoother linking words, and include one specific detail or comparison to strengthen the answer. Avoid small grammar slips and slightly repetitive phrasing. Mention where bikes are popular (parks, lakesides, bike lanes) and why (convenience, exercise, leisure) with a brief example.

例: Yes, I think bikes are quite popular in South Korea. Many people ride along dedicated bike paths by lakes and rivers for exercise and leisure, and cities like Seoul have improved lanes and rental schemes, so cycling has become an easy and common pastime for families and commuters.

× No I did not have a bike when I was a child.

✓ No, I did not have a bike when I was a child.

Missing comma after introductory interjection 'No' and a minor punctuation issue; grammatically the tense is correct but punctuation improves clarity. Suggestion: add a comma after 'No' when it begins a sentence.

× The only reason was because I lived in Cambridge in the UK and then moved to Chicago.

✓ The only reason was that I lived in Cambridge in the UK and then moved to Chicago.

Using 'the only reason was because' is redundant and unidiomatic. Replace 'because' with 'that' after 'reason' to form a correct noun clause: 'The only reason was that...'. Suggestion: use 'reason that' or rephrase to 'This was because...'.

× Both are very busy Muslim towns and my parents believe that a little kid that is in pre kindergarten riding a bike around all those cars would be a safety hazard.

✓ Both are very busy towns, and my parents believed that a little child in pre-kindergarten riding a bike among all those cars would be a safety hazard.

Several issues: 'Muslim' is an inappropriate or unclear modifier for 'towns' in this context and may be irrelevant; tense consistency (student speaks of past, use 'believed'); 'kid' is informal—use 'child'; 'that is in pre kindergarten' is wordy and ungrammatical—use 'in pre-kindergarten'; 'riding a bike around all those cars' is better as 'riding a bike among all those cars'. Suggestions: maintain past tense for past beliefs, use more appropriate adjectives, hyphenate 'pre-kindergarten', and prefer 'child' for formality.

× Currently I live in South Korea and I do see bikes very common, so I would say yes, they're quite popular.

✓ Currently I live in South Korea, and I see bikes very commonly, so I would say yes, they're quite popular.

The phrase 'do see bikes very common' is ungrammatical: after 'see' you need an object with an adjective using an adverb ('see bikes as very common') or use 'find' ('I find bikes very common'). 'Very commonly' is an adverb modifying 'see', but more natural corrections: 'I see bikes very commonly' or 'I find bikes very common'. Suggestion: use 'I find bikes very common' or 'I see bikes very often'.

× The reason is because there are a lot of lakes in Seoul or just in Korea in general, and people like to take walks or ride bikes in that area as a form of leisure activity.

✓ The reason is that there are a lot of lakes in Seoul, and in Korea in general, and people like to take walks or ride bikes in those areas as a form of leisure activity.

Problems: 'reason is because' should be 'reason is that' (redundant 'because'); punctuation and preposition placement: 'in Seoul or just in Korea in general' is awkward—better 'in Seoul, and in Korea in general'; 'that area' is vague—use 'those areas' to match plural 'lakes' and locations. Suggestion: use 'The reason is that...' and ensure prepositions and number agreement ('areas').