Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise, directly state whether you had a bike, and include a clear topic sentence followed by one or two specific supporting details. Avoid unnecessary repetition (e.g., age and grade together) and check minor grammar (use 'a TVS Scooty' or 'a scooter'). Use a linking word to connect reason or purpose.

例: No, I didn’t have a bike as a child; I had a TVS Scooty when I was 15. I used the scooter mainly to commute to school and to attend tutorial classes, which was very convenient because public transport was unreliable.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence answering the question, then provide two specific, well-linked reasons with concise language. Replace vague phrases ('scrolling around', 'doing their activities') with precise verbs and correct minor grammar (e.g., 'most students love commuting by bike'). Vary vocabulary (popular, widespread, common) and use linking words such as 'for example' or 'also' appropriately.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country and are used by people of all ages. For example, many youngsters ride them for short trips to the market or to school, and students prefer bikes because they are affordable and easy to park.

× Yeah, when I was in grade 10, I was 15 years old and at that time I had a TV scooty, not a bike, but I used this scooty to commute to school and for my tutorial classes, basically.

✓ Yeah, when I was in grade 10 I was 15 years old, and at that time I had a TV scooty, not a bike, but I used this scooty to commute to school and to go to my tutorial classes.

Subject-verb agreement and sentence structure: the original sentence had an unnecessary comma before 'I was 15 years old' and used 'for my tutorial classes' which is less natural than 'to go to my tutorial classes.' Also 'used this scooty to commute to school and for my tutorial classes' mixes parallel structures; verbs or prepositional phrases should be parallel. Suggestion: keep parallel verb forms (used ... to commute ... and to go ...) and remove the extra comma to improve flow.

× Bikes are really popular in my country among all generations, especially kids and youngsters.

✓ Bikes are really popular in my country among all age groups, especially children and young people.

Incorrect use of adjectives/nouns and word choice: 'kids and youngsters' is awkward and slightly informal; 'youngsters' is less common with 'kids.' Use 'children and young people' or 'youngsters' alone. Also 'generations' is slightly off; 'age groups' is more accurate when speaking generally. Suggestion: choose correct noun forms and collocations for formality and clarity.

× They use it for just scrolling around, for getting basic necessities from the nearby market, for going to do their activities and in school.

✓ They use them just to go around, to get basic necessities from the nearby market, and to travel to activities and to school.

Sentence structure errors and incorrect word choice: 'scrolling around' is incorrect for moving physically; 'go around' or 'ride around' is appropriate. 'Use it' conflicts with plural 'bikes' so plural pronoun 'them' is better. The list lacks parallel structure—mixing 'for getting', 'for going to do', and 'in school'—so convert to parallel infinitive phrases ('to get', 'to travel'). Suggestion: ensure pronoun number matches the noun (bikes -> them) and keep parallel verb forms.

× Also most of the students they love to commute through bikes.

✓ Also, most students love to commute by bike.

Subject-verb agreement and pronoun redundancy: 'most of the students they' is redundant; use 'most students' or 'most of the students.' 'Commute through bikes' is incorrect preposition; use 'commute by bike.' Suggestion: remove the extra pronoun and use the correct preposition for transport ('by') and the singular 'bike' as a general mode of transport or plural 'by bikes' depending on emphasis.