Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Correct the grammar and avoid redundancy. Start with a clear topic sentence, remove repeated phrases ("used to" and "ride it"), and add one specific detail about frequency or a memory. Keep it under five sentences and use linking words if adding details.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I often rode it around my neighbourhood to visit friends and buy small items. For example, I would cycle to the corner shop every weekend to buy snacks, which made me feel independent.

提案: Clarify and correct awkward phrasing and the unclear example. Keep answers coherent by using linking words (e.g., "because", "for example"). Provide a specific example of typical trips people make by bike. Maintain natural vocabulary and avoid incorrect verb forms like "used to ride it and get it too."

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country because they are cheap and convenient. For short trips, people often cycle to the market or to work. For example, many commuters cycle to the nearby train station each day to avoid traffic and save money.

× As a child I used to have a bike which I used to ride it around my neighbourhood.

✓ As a child I used to have a bike which I rode around my neighbourhood.

The clause 'which I used to ride it' contains a redundant pronoun 'it' and incorrectly repeats 'used to'. Replace with 'which I rode' to remove redundancy and correctly express a past habitual action. Suggestion: use 'used to' once for general habit and a simple past verb for the relative clause: 'which I rode'.

× Whenever I need something I take right with my and I ride it.

✓ Whenever I needed something I would take it with me and ride it.

The context is childhood past habit, so present tense 'need' is incorrect; use past tense 'needed'. The sentence also has word order and pronoun errors: 'take right with my' is ungrammatical and pronoun 'my' should be 'me'; include 'it' as the object. Use 'would' or 'used to' to indicate habitual past action: 'would take it with me and ride it.'

× Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country.

✓ Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country.

This sentence is correct. It uses the present tense appropriately to describe a general truth. No change needed.

× People ride whenever they want to buy anything usually small distances.

✓ People ride bikes when they want to go short distances to buy things.

The original sentence has awkward word order and unclear phrasing. 'Ride whenever they want to buy anything usually small distances' misplaces the adverb 'usually' and lacks a clear object for 'ride'. Reorder to 'ride bikes when they want to go short distances to buy things' for clarity and correct modifier placement.

× Many people prefer cycling because it is very cheap, healthy and often faster than riding for short journeys.

✓ Many people prefer cycling because it is very cheap, healthy, and often faster for short journeys.

Minor wording issue: 'faster than riding for short journeys' is awkward because 'riding' lacks a clear comparison object. 'Faster for short journeys' is clearer and idiomatic. Also add a comma before 'and' for clarity in a list.

× For example, to buy a gorgeous they used to ride it and get it too.

✓ For example, to buy something nice they would ride their bikes and get it.

The original sentence has multiple issues: 'to buy a gorgeous' is incorrect noun phrase; 'gorgeous' is an adjective needing a noun. 'They used to ride it and get it too' redundantly uses 'it' and mixes pronouns. Use 'something nice' or a specific noun, and 'would ride their bikes and buy it' or 'and get it'. Also align tense to past habitual with 'would'.