Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally natural and relevant, with a clear topic sentence and supporting details. To improve: 1) Fix minor grammar issues (use consistent verb forms and prepositions). 2) Make sentences more concise and coherent by using linking words. 3) Replace vague phrases with more specific details (e.g., how old you were, names of places, frequency). Aim for 3–4 well-structured sentences.

例: I had a bicycle from about age eight and I rode it around my neighborhood every afternoon with friends. It gave me a real sense of freedom, so we often cycled to the small park near my house to play. Once we raced down a gentle hill near the park, which was thrilling but safe because an adult was watching.

提案: Your response addresses the question and gives reasons, but it is slightly repetitive and ends abruptly. To improve: 1) Remove redundant phrases and complete the final thought. 2) Use linking words (for example, however, therefore) for cohesion. 3) Add a brief example or statistic to make your point more specific. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, bicycles are very popular in my country because they are cheap and practical for short journeys. For example, many people cycle to the market or nearby offices to avoid traffic and save money. In big cities, cycling is especially common since parking is difficult and public transport can be crowded.

× When I was a child, I used to have a bicycle and rode it around my neighborhood every afternoon with my friends.

✓ When I was a child, I used to have a bicycle and would ride it around my neighborhood every afternoon with my friends.

The sentence mixes two ways of describing habitual past actions: 'used to' and the simple past 'rode.' Use consistent forms for clarity. Replace 'rode' with 'would ride' to match the habitual sense established by 'used to.' Alternatively, you could remove 'used to' and keep simple past for both verbs. Suggestion: use parallel habitual construction (used to + base form or would + base form).

× I loved it because it gave me freedom and to explore nearby parks.

✓ I loved it because it gave me freedom and allowed me to explore nearby parks.

The phrase 'gave me freedom and to explore' incorrectly mixes a noun phrase with an infinitive. After 'gave me freedom and', you need a verb phrase that parallels 'gave me freedom' or restructure the sentence. 'Allowed me to explore' correctly expresses the enabling action. Alternatively: 'it gave me freedom to explore nearby parks.'

× Many people ride them for short trips to work or the market, especially in crowded cities where traffic is bad and cycling is also cost effective and.

✓ Many people ride them for short trips to work or the market, especially in crowded cities where traffic is bad and cycling is also cost-effective.

The sentence ends with an extra conjunction 'and' and misses a hyphen in the compound adjective 'cost-effective.' Remove the trailing 'and' to complete the sentence, and hyphenate 'cost-effective' when used as a compound adjective before or after a noun. Also consider parallelism: 'traffic is bad and cycling is also cost-effective' is correct once 'and' is removed.