Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and fluent. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition and hesitations, and add one or two specific supporting details connected with linking words. Aim for 2–4 sentences and use varied vocabulary (e.g., "ride" instead of repeating "bike").

例: Yes, I had a bicycle when I was a child. I used to ride it around my neighborhood every afternoon, and sometimes I cycled to the nearby supermarket to buy snacks. Those rides made me feel independent and helped me stay active.

提案: Organize your answer into a clear opinion sentence then give 1–2 specific reasons using linking words. Avoid unclear words and hesitations; use correct vocabulary (e.g., "cars, motorcycles, and the Skytrain"). Keep sentences short and coherent.

例: Not really. In my country most people prefer cars and motorcycles, and many use the Skytrain in the city for convenience. As a result, cycling is less common except in parks or among hobbyists on weekends.

× I had a bicycle, uh, when I was young and then I loved to bike with my neighborhood.

✓ I had a bicycle when I was young, and then I loved biking around my neighborhood.

Plural/singular and word choice: 'bike with my neighborhood' is incorrect. 'Neighborhood' is a place, not a person to 'bike with'. Use 'bike' as a gerund 'biking' and 'around my neighborhood' to indicate location. This fixes the singular/plural and prepositional usage (use 'around' rather than 'with').

× Uh, I went to the supermarket.

✓ I also went to the supermarket.

Context and cohesion: The sentence is grammatically correct but sounds abrupt in response. Adding 'also' clarifies that going to the supermarket was another activity. No tense change is needed.

× Not really from my perspective in my crunchy has a lot of car uh and motorcycle and some people by sky sky train uh for do something in weekend or.

✓ Not really. From my perspective, my country has a lot of cars and motorcycles, and some people use the skytrain to go out on weekends.

Multiple issues: The original has sentence structure errors, incorrect vocabulary ('crunchy' should be 'country'), pluralization errors ('car' -> 'cars'), incorrect verb forms ('by' -> 'use'), and awkward phrase 'for do something in weekend' which should be 'to go out on weekends'. The correction fixes word choice, subject-verb agreement, plural forms, prepositions, and general sentence structure to convey the intended meaning clearly.