Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct minor grammar issues. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid unnecessary repetition (e.g., 'actually' repeated) and incorrect word choice (use 'bikes' vs 'bags').

例: Yes, I had several bikes as a child. For example, my first was an orange tricycle which I used until it became rusty, because I enjoyed riding it every day. As I grew older, my parents replaced it with a proper bicycle, which I also loved.

提案: Finish the answer and organise it: give a clear opinion, then two supporting reasons linked with connectors. Use specific examples and avoid vague endings. Watch grammar: use 'as popular as they should be' and avoid filler phrases like 'you know'.

例: I don't think bikes are as popular as they should be in my country. For one thing, they reduce air pollution and traffic congestion in big cities. For another, many people lack safe bike lanes, so the government should build more cycling infrastructure to encourage cycling.

× Yes, I actually had a lot of bikes because my parents, they changed my bags as I grew up.

✓ Yes, I actually had a lot of bikes because my parents changed my bikes as I grew up.

The original sentence is awkward and contains a redundant pronoun phrase 'my parents, they' causing a sentence structure error. Also 'changed my bags' is likely a word choice error; context implies 'bikes.' Suggest removing the redundant pronoun and correcting 'bags' to 'bikes' to make a clear, grammatical sentence.

× First I had a tricycle.

✓ At first I had a tricycle.

The phrase 'First I had a tricycle' is understandable but non-idiomatic; using 'At first' is the correct adverbial phrase to indicate the initial situation. This fixes article/phrase usage and improves naturalness.

× It was my first, but it was orange in color and I actually used it until it was rusty, so I made full use of it.

✓ It was my first one; it was orange, and I used it until it became rusty, so I made full use of it.

'My first' should be 'my first one' for clarity. 'Orange in color' is wordy; 'orange' suffices. 'Used it until it was rusty' is acceptable but 'became rusty' is clearer. These changes improve adjective use and clarity.

× I really like that bike, actually.

✓ I really liked that bike, actually.

The context is past (talking about childhood), so the verb tense should be past: 'liked' instead of present 'like.' This fixes a pronoun/tense mismatch and aligns the sentence with surrounding past-tense narration.

× I don't think bikes are as popular as it should be in my country.

✓ I don't think bikes are as popular as they should be in my country.

The subject 'bikes' is plural, so the pronoun referring to them must be plural ('they') and the verb 'should be' remains. Using 'it' creates a subject-pronoun agreement error.

× You know, bikes really help in reducing the air pollution, especially in a capital city of a country, people should always be encouraged to do something for the betterment of the

✓ You know, bikes really help reduce air pollution, especially in the capital city of a country; people should always be encouraged to do something for the betterment of the environment.

The original sentence is run-on and incomplete. 'Help in reducing' is wordy; 'help reduce' is more natural. 'The air pollution' should be 'air pollution' or 'the environment' at end. Added punctuation and completed the sentence with 'environment' to resolve structure and completeness issues.