Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific supporting detail and a short reason. Use linking words and correct sentence capitalization and punctuation.

例: No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child. I never learned to ride because no one taught me, so my family never bought one. As a result, I only started trying to learn much later with friends' help.

提案: Give a clearer topic sentence, add one specific example or fact, and use linking words to connect ideas. Avoid vague phrases like "kind of" and improve grammar (capitalization, articles).

例: Yes, bicycles are very popular in South Korea. For example, in Seoul there are many public bike-sharing stations where residents can rent bikes cheaply or for free, which makes cycling a convenient option for short trips.

× No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child because I couldn't even ride a bicycle because no one taught me how to ride a bicycle.

✓ No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child because I couldn't ride a bicycle; nobody taught me how to ride one.

The sentence contains redundant and awkward use of 'because' and repetition of 'bicycle'. Use past tense 'couldn't ride' (past ability) is correct; simplify by removing the extra 'because' and replacing 'no one' with 'nobody' and the second 'bicycle' with a pronoun. Also combine clauses with a semicolon or 'and' for clarity.

× so that's why I didn't have a bicycle at home.

✓ So that's why I didn't have a bicycle at home.

The sentence is a fragment when separated from the previous sentence; capitalization needed at the start. As a continuation, it's acceptable but ensure proper capitalization. Also avoid redundancy between 'so' and 'that's why'—use one: 'That's why I didn't have a bicycle at home.'

× Yes, bikes are pretty popular in Korea which is my country.

✓ Yes, bikes are quite popular in Korea, which is my country.

Use 'quite' or 'pretty' consistently; add a comma before the nonrestrictive clause 'which is my country'. The tense is present and appropriate; main issue is punctuation and word choice for formality.

× When I go to the street I can see so many bicycles and then people can borrow them especially when you go to Seoul, which is capital in South Korea, they offer kind of free bicycle for the citizen.

✓ When I go out on the street I can see many bicycles, and people can borrow them. Especially in Seoul, which is the capital of South Korea, they offer kind of free bicycles for citizens.

Multiple issues: 'go to the street' is unnatural—use 'go out on the street'. Remove filler 'so' and split into clearer sentences. Add 'the' before 'capital' and change 'bicycle' to plural 'bicycles' and 'citizen' to plural 'citizens'. 'Kind of free' is informal; better: 'they offer free bicycles to citizens'.

× which is capital in South Korea

✓ which is the capital of South Korea

The noun 'capital' requires the definite article 'the' and 'of' to show possession: 'the capital of South Korea'. This is a common article and preposition usage error.