Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be careful with tense and redundancy. Start with a clear topic sentence in past tense, then add specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repeating phrases like “I do”. Correct grammar: use past simple for past events and combine short ideas into one coherent answer (max 4–5 sentences).

例: Yes, I did. My parents bought me my first bike when I was in kindergarten; it was a small four‑wheeled bike with colourful streamers. I remember learning to balance on it every afternoon, and by the time I started primary school I could ride a two‑wheeled bicycle without help.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence, then support it with specific, connected reasons using linking words. Avoid informal fillers like “period” and unfinished sentences. Mention concrete examples or comparisons to make your point stronger.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in China. For example, many people use shared electric bikes for short journeys because they are affordable and convenient, and cycling is also encouraged as a healthy, low‑emission option. As a result, bike lanes and sharing apps have become widespread in most cities.

× Yes, I do. I do have a bike when I was a child that was bought by my parents.

✓ Yes, I did. I had a bike when I was a child that was bought by my parents.

The response refers to a past situation (childhood) so past tense should be used. 'I do' and 'I do have' are present tense and inconsistent with 'when I was a child'. Use past simple 'I did' or more naturally 'I had'. Suggestion: use past simple for actions or states that occurred in the past (e.g., 'I had a bike when I was a child').

× My first bike was actually purchased when I was in kindergarten and I still remember that was a four wheeled bike, you know.

✓ My first bike was actually purchased when I was in kindergarten, and I still remember that it was a four-wheeled bike.

The clause 'I still remember that was a four wheeled bike' omits the subject 'it' and needs a hyphen in the compound adjective 'four-wheeled'. Also a comma before the conjunction improves clarity. Suggestion: include the subject 'it' after 'remember' and hyphenate compound adjectives: 'I still remember that it was a four-wheeled bike.'

× Yes, nowadays you can see bikes everywhere on the street in China, period.

✓ Yes, nowadays you can see bikes everywhere on the streets in China.

The phrase 'on the street' is less natural when speaking generally; use plural 'streets'. 'Period' is informal and unnecessary in this context. Suggestion: drop 'period' and use 'streets' for general statements: '...everywhere on the streets in China.'

× I think renewable energy is a big trend and now people are taking more attention to their fitness as well, so.

✓ I think renewable energy is a big trend, and now people are paying more attention to their fitness as well.

The verb phrase should be 'pay attention to', not 'take attention to'. Also the sentence ends with an unnecessary 'so' and needs a comma before 'and' for clarity. Suggestion: use 'paying more attention to their fitness' and remove trailing 'so'.