Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve accuracy, coherence and vocabulary. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct word choice (cards → cousins/friends), and use one or two linked supporting details. Avoid redundancy ("I love it" and "I'm proud of it" convey similar feelings). Add a brief specific example and use a linking word to connect ideas.

例: Yes — I had a bike from when I was about three. My father bought it for me, and I used to ride around the neighborhood with my older cousins, which gave me my first real sense of independence. For example, I remember cycling to the small park near our house and feeling proud that I could go out on my own.

提案: Focus on grammatical accuracy, clearer structure and specific examples. Begin with a succinct topic sentence, then give two specific reasons linked with connectors (for example, because / also). Correct plural and article errors ("bikes are", "bikers are"), and avoid repetition. Provide a concrete example such as commuting or events.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country because many people use them for short commutes and leisure. For instance, you often see cyclists riding to markets or meeting friends at the weekend, and there are also regular local cycling events and competitions that attract large crowds.

× I love it because I enjoyed riding around the neighborhood with my older cards.

✓ I loved it because I enjoyed riding around the neighborhood with my older cousins.

The original sentence uses 'I love it' (present) while the context is past; tense should be past 'I loved it' to match 'I enjoyed'. Also 'older cards' is an incorrect noun; likely intended 'cousins' or 'brothers'. Replace with 'cousins' for clarity. Suggestion: keep consistent past tense for past memories and choose the correct noun.'

× It was my first rare taste of independence.

✓ It was my first real taste of independence.

'Rare taste' is unusual in English; the intended modifier is 'real' to mean genuine. This is a word choice/structure issue. Use 'real taste of independence' to convey the intended meaning.'

× From my perspective, I think bike is very popular in my country because you can see many bikers they are They are going to attend a competition or just riding a bike to shopping or to hang out with friends.

✓ From my perspective, I think bikes are very popular in my country because you can see many bikers. They may be going to attend a competition, riding a bike to go shopping, or hanging out with friends.

Multiple errors: 'bike is' should be plural 'bikes are' (singular/plural and subject-verb agreement). Run-on sentence and pronoun repetition ('they are They are') create structure issues. Verb forms need correction: use 'may be going to attend' or 'might be going to attend' for possibility (modal verb) and parallel gerunds: 'riding a bike to go shopping' and 'hanging out with friends'. Suggestion: split into two sentences, ensure plural subject with correct verb agreement, and keep parallel verb forms.'

× you can see many bikers they are They are going to attend a competition or just riding a bike to shopping or to hang out with friends.

✓ You can see many bikers; they may be going to attend a competition, riding their bikes to go shopping, or hanging out with friends.

Original has missing punctuation and incorrect verb forms. 'They are They are' is duplicated and unnecessary. Use a semicolon or period to separate clauses. Use 'riding their bikes to go shopping' for natural phrasing and ensure verbs agree with plural subject. Use 'may be' for probable actions. Suggestion: avoid duplication and keep verbs parallel.'