Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammatical accuracy and clarity. Start with a clear topical sentence, avoid repetition, use correct tense and articles, and give one or two specific supporting details with linking words. For example, say you did have a small bike, when you received it, and how you used it. Keep it within 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I had a small bicycle when I was a child. My father gave it to me as a gift for my fifth birthday, and I used to ride it around the neighborhood every afternoon. It helped me learn balance and made outdoor play more fun.

提案: Focus on a concise topic sentence, use correct comparative forms and count/uncount nouns, and add one or two specific reasons with linking words (e.g., because, therefore, for example). Avoid repetition and improve word choice (e.g., 'affordable', 'installments', 'prefer').

例: Yes, bicycles are very popular in my country because they are affordable and practical. For example, many families buy them on installments, so more people can afford a bike, and as a result many commuters choose bicycles for short journeys.

× No, I had not any bike when when I was child.

✓ No, I did not have a bike when I was a child.

The student used 'had not any' which is incorrect in simple past negative; English uses 'did not' + base verb for negatives in past tense. Also 'when when' is repeated and the article 'a' is missing before 'child'. Suggest using 'I did not have a bike when I was a child.'

× I had I had a a small cycle when when I was when I was child.

✓ I had a small bicycle when I was a child.

The sentence contains repeated words ('I had I had', 'a a', 'when when', 'when I was when I was') causing redundancy and incorrect structure. Use a single clause with correct article: 'I had a small bicycle when I was a child.' Also 'cycle' is acceptable but 'bicycle' is more natural in this context.

× It is a gifted by my father on my 5th birthday.

✓ It was a gift from my father on my 5th birthday.

'Gifted' is a verb form incorrectly used; the noun 'gift' is needed. Use past tense 'was' because the event happened in the past. Preposition 'by' is incorrect for giving in this structure; use 'from'. Also 'on' before 'my 5th birthday' is correct.

× Yes, bikes are more popular in in our country because it is a very cheap thing to buy it for for every family.

✓ Yes, bikes are very popular in our country because they are cheap to buy for every family.

The phrase 'more popular' implies comparison without stating the reference; 'very popular' fits better. Repetition 'in in' and 'for for' should be removed. Pronoun 'it' is incorrect for plural 'bikes'; use 'they'. 'A very cheap thing to buy' is awkward; use 'cheap to buy'.

× We buy it on instalments so we can easily buy it.

✓ We buy them on instalments, so we can afford them easily.

Pronoun 'it' is incorrect for plural 'bikes'; use 'them'. 'On instalments' is acceptable but 'in instalments' or 'on installments' (US spelling) is more common; both are okay. Also 'so we can easily buy it' is awkward—use 'so we can afford them easily.'

× So everyone prefer bike.

✓ So everyone prefers bicycles.

Subject 'everyone' is singular and requires the third person singular verb 'prefers'. Also 'bike' should be plural or a countable noun with an article: 'bikes' or 'a bike'. Using 'bicycles' matches context.