Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition ("I did have" + "I never had"). Also correct the phrasing "bike with two tires" to "a two-wheeled bike" and explain briefly why you didn't learn.

例: Yes, I had a bike as a child, but it was a four-wheeled training bike because I never learned to ride a two-wheeled bike. As a result, I mostly rode it in our driveway rather than on the road.

提案: Give a direct opinion, then support it with a clear reason and a specific example. Use linking words like "because" or "however" to connect ideas. Avoid repeating "really do" and combine related ideas into one or two concise sentences.

例: I don't think bikes are very popular in my country because most people prefer cars and buses for long commutes. However, I want to learn to ride a bike since cycling is common in Denmark, and I'd like to use a bike when I visit there.

× Yes, I did have a bike when I was a child, but I never had a bike with two tires.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child, but it never had two tires.

The student used the auxiliary 'did' unnecessarily in a positive past tense sentence. In simple past affirmative sentences, do-support is not used. Also, repeating 'a bike' is redundant; replacing the second mention with 'it' improves cohesion. Suggestion: Use 'I had' for simple past positive statements and avoid unnecessary repetition.

× It was only with four tires because I never got to learn how to ride a bike.

✓ It had four wheels because I never learned how to ride a bike.

Tires versus wheels: native phrasing refers to 'four wheels' for a child's bike (or tricycle/quadricycle). Also, 'got to learn' is informal and awkward here; 'never learned' is clearer and fits simple past. Suggestion: Use correct noun 'wheels' and simple past 'learned' for completed actions in the past.

× No, I don't think bikes are popular.

✓ No, I don't think bikes are popular in my country.

The original sentence is grammatically correct, but adding 'in my country' clarifies context requested by the examiner. Tense is appropriate (present simple) for general opinion. Suggestion: Keep present simple for general truths and include context when needed.

× Cars and buses are more popular compared to bikes.

✓ Cars and buses are more popular than bikes.

The comparative 'more popular than' is the standard structure; 'more popular compared to' is awkward. Use 'than' after comparative adjectives. Suggestion: Use 'more X than Y' for comparisons.

× But I really do want to learn how to ride a bike because in Denmark bikes are very popular and I really do want to visit Denmark.

✓ But I really want to learn how to ride a bike because bikes are very popular in Denmark, and I really want to visit there.

The phrase 'really do want' is unnecessarily emphatic; 'really want' is more natural. Repeating 'I really want' twice is redundant. Also, move 'in Denmark' next to 'popular' for clarity and replace the repeated country name with 'there' to avoid repetition. Suggestion: Avoid redundant intensifiers and repeat mentions; place modifiers close to the words they modify.