Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Reduce repetition, correct tense consistency, and make answer more concise and structured. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two supporting details using linking words. Also correct small grammar points (e.g. "that's what I used" -> "which I used").

例: No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child, but my brother did, which I used during high school. I rode it every afternoon around our subdivision, so I became quite confident cycling in quiet residential streets.

提案: Begin with a direct opinion sentence, then give specific reasons with linking words and correct grammar (e.g. plural agreement "have access"). Provide a brief example or consequence to support your view. Avoid vague phrases like "a handful" without context.

例: I don't think bikes are very popular in my country because many roads are unsafe for cyclists. For example, national highways are busy and lack bike lanes, so most people prefer cars or motorcycles for safety and convenience.

× No, I didn't have a bike, but but my brother had one and that's what I use during high school every afternoon. So I rode this bike around our subdivision.

✓ No, I didn't have a bike, but my brother had one and that's what I used during high school every afternoon. So I rode that bike around our subdivision.

The student is describing past events, so verbs should be in the past tense. 'use' is present tense and should be 'used' to match 'didn't have' and 'had'. Also remove the duplicated word 'but but' and change 'this bike' to 'that bike' for consistency when referring back to the brother's bike. Suggestion: keep all verbs describing the same time frame in past tense and proofread to remove duplicated words.

× I think bikes are not popular in our country and only a handful of people has access to it because it's really dangerous to go around, especially in national highways.

✓ I think bikes are not popular in our country and only a handful of people have access to them because it's really dangerous to ride around, especially on national highways.

There are multiple agreement and form errors. 'a handful of people' is plural and requires the plural verb 'have' rather than 'has'. 'access to it' is incorrect because 'bikes' is plural, so use 'them'. The verb phrase 'go around' is vague for cycling; use 'ride around'. Preposition 'in national highways' is incorrect; use 'on national highways'. Suggestions: ensure subject and verb agree in number, match pronouns to their antecedents in number, choose verbs appropriate to the activity, and use correct prepositions for locations ('on' for highways).