Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more grammatical, concise and directly answer with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid fillers like 'you know' and correct tense errors (use past tense for childhood).

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. Because I loved exploring with my friends, it was much easier to go to parks or distant places by bike, so I persuaded my father to buy one for me.

提案: Start with a direct opinion, then give two clear reasons using linking words. Correct word choice (bike, not back), remove repetitions and filler phrases, and finish the sentence—don’t trail off. Use specific facts or brief examples if possible.

例: Yes, I think bicycles are quite popular in Hong Kong. Firstly, because space is limited and traffic congestion is common, many people prefer bikes for short journeys; secondly, owning and parking a car is expensive, so bicycles are a cheaper and more convenient option.

× Yes, of course I have a bike so since when I was young I really love to hang out with my friends and you know you want to go to the far place, you better get a vehicle. That's why I begged my dad.

✓ Yes, of course I had a bike, so since I was young I really loved hanging out with my friends, and when you want to go to a far place, it's better to have a vehicle. That's why I begged my dad.

The student mixes present and past tenses incorrectly (present tense 'have' and 'love' vs. past context 'when I was young'). Use past tense for past situations: 'had' and 'loved'. Also use the gerund 'hanging out' after 'loved' (verb + -ing). Replace informal clause 'you know you want to go to the far place, you better get a vehicle' with a general statement in the present tense for advice: 'when you want to go to a far place, it's better to have a vehicle.' This keeps tense consistent and uses correct verb forms. Suggested improvements: identify time frame words (e.g., 'when I was young') and make verbs match that time frame; use gerund after verbs like 'love'; use 'it's better to' or 'you should' for general advice.

× Yeah, of course I think back is popular in my country since I'm I'm from Hong Kong and Hong Kong, you know, Hong Kong is not a big country and and you know, driving owning a car in Hong Kong is really expensive so lots of people trying

✓ Yeah, of course I think bikes are popular in my country. I'm from Hong Kong, which is not a big city, and owning a car in Hong Kong is really expensive, so lots of people try to...

Multiple issues: 'back' is a word choice error (should be 'bikes') and plural form needed ('bikes are popular') — this is a singular/plural problem and also subject-verb agreement with 'are'. The phrase 'Hong Kong is not a big country' is inaccurate; 'city' fits context. 'Driving owning a car' is ungrammatical; use 'owning a car' or 'driving a car'. The clause 'so lots of people trying' is a sentence fragment; use full verb form 'try to' followed by an action (e.g., 'try to use public transport'). Suggestions: use correct nouns and plural forms, ensure subject and verb agree, convert fragments into complete clauses with proper verb forms, and choose appropriate nouns for place types.