Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and direct with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and grammatical errors (e.g., "never got it one"). Use past tense consistently and replace vague phrases with precise information (for example, say when and why you overcame your fear).

例: No, I didn't have a bike as a child because I was afraid of riding. However, when I was sixteen I finally bought my first bicycle and learned to ride with the help of a friend, which boosted my confidence and helped me exercise regularly.

提案: Correct factual/confusing words and improve coherence: start with a clear topic sentence, then give specific reasons and use linking words. Avoid contradictory words (e.g., 'rarely popular' contradicts 'Yes, definitely'). Use more precise vocabulary (e.g., 'motorbikes', 'cars', 'commute').

例: Yes, bicycles are very popular in India. For example, many children ride them for fun, and adults often use bicycles to commute short distances because they are cheap and convenient. Moreover, in some towns bicycles are preferred over motorbikes or cars due to narrow streets and lower costs.

× No, because I was afraid of riding bicycles in my childhood, so I never rode a bicycle and never got it one but I remember when I was sixteen at that time I bought my first bicycle.

✓ No, because I was afraid of riding bicycles when I was a child, so I never rode a bicycle or owned one, but I remember that when I was sixteen I bought my first bicycle.

The sentence mixes awkward time expressions and verb choices. 'In my childhood' is better as 'when I was a child.' 'Never got it one' is ungrammatical; use 'owned one.' 'At that time' is redundant with 'when I was sixteen.' Use past simple consistently for completed past actions and add 'that' to introduce the remembered clause for clarity. Suggestion: keep consistent past tense and use clear noun phrases (owned one).

× Yes, definitely. Bicycles are rarely popular in India.

✓ Yes, definitely. Bicycles are very popular in India.

The original uses 'are rarely popular' which contradicts the intended meaning and misuses 'rarely' with 'popular.' Use present simple 'are' to describe a general truth and 'very popular' to express frequency/degree. Ensure adverb placement directly modifies the adjective: 'very popular.'

× Every person of every age use bicycles, especially children as well as people who do not have money to buy other vehicles like bike or cards.

✓ People of all ages use bicycles, especially children and people who cannot afford other vehicles like motorcycles or cars.

Subject-verb agreement and noun forms: 'Every person of every age' is wordy and then uses plural verb 'use' incorrectly with 'every person.' Use 'People of all ages' with plural verb 'use.' 'Do not have money to buy' is better as 'cannot afford.' 'Bike or cards' are incorrect nouns; use 'motorcycles or cars.'

× So they use bicycle for their daily up and down.

✓ So they use bicycles for their daily travel to and from work or school.

'Use bicycle' needs article/plural: 'use bicycles.' 'For their daily up and down' is unidiomatic; replace with 'for their daily travel to and from' or 'for their daily commute.' Be specific about destinations (work or school) to be natural English.