Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Correct grammar and reduce redundancy. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details using linking words. Fix tense/auxiliary errors (say “Yes, I had a bike” or “Yes, I did”) and remove repeated words. Make sentences shorter and more coherent.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I often rode it from my house to a small, muddy playground nearby, where other children gathered. Because the playground was close, we would circle it a few times and play racing games.

提案: Be more concise and organized: give a clear topic sentence, then two specific reasons connected with linking words. Avoid unclear phrasing like “easy to open a bike in the school.” Use precise vocabulary (congested traffic, affordable, environmentally friendly). Limit to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because traffic is often congested, so they are faster for short trips. Moreover, they are affordable and environmentally friendly, which makes them a practical choice for students and workers.

× Yes, I did had a bike when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child.

Using 'did had' is incorrect because 'did' already marks the past tense; the main verb should be in base form after 'did'. Use 'I had' or 'I did have' (not 'did had'). Suggestion: say 'I had a bike' or 'I did have a bike' for emphasis.

× I used to ride from my home to a nearby small playground which which was mainly of mud in nearby kids used to come there and we used to bike around the playground.

✓ I used to ride from my home to a nearby small playground that was mainly made of mud. Nearby kids used to come there, and we used to ride our bikes around the playground.

This sentence has several structural and word-choice issues: duplicate word 'which which', incorrect phrase 'mainly of mud' (use 'made of mud'), run-on sentence with missing punctuation and unclear subjects. Also 'bike around' is better as 'ride our bikes around'. Suggestions: remove duplicates, split into shorter sentences, use 'that was mainly made of mud' and include commas to separate ideas.

× Yes, I think bikes are popular in my country because traffic is huge and to get to nearby places it's very convenient and easy to open a bike in the school.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are popular in my country because traffic is heavy, and to get to nearby places it's very convenient and easy to use a bike to get to school.

Problems: 'traffic is huge' is unnatural; use 'traffic is heavy'. The phrase 'open a bike in the school' is incorrect and unclear; likely intended 'use a bike to get to school'. Maintain present simple tense for general statements. Suggestion: use natural collocations like 'heavy traffic' and 'use a bike to get to school'.

× It's easy, it's economical right? And it's eco friendly also.

✓ It's easy, it's economical, right? And it's eco-friendly as well.

Use a hyphen in the compound adjective 'eco-friendly'. Also use 'as well' or 'too' instead of 'also' at the end for more natural placement. Maintain consistent punctuation: add commas and question mark appropriately. Suggestion: write 'eco-friendly' and prefer 'as well' or 'too' for ending position.