Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Keep the answer concise and natural. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details linked logically. Avoid filler interjections (e.g., “Oh my God”) and redundancy. Use varied vocabulary and correct grammar (e.g., past tense consistency: “used to” or simple past).

例: Yes, I did. I used to have a bright red bicycle that I begged my parents to buy after seeing my friends ride theirs to school. It felt exciting and gave me independence, so I rode it every weekend until I was a teenager.

提案: Answer directly, then give clear, specific reasons with correct grammar and linking words. Fix subject-verb agreement (“people use”) and clarify the final point—avoid unclear rhetorical questions. Limit to two or three sentences and include an example or brief comparison.

例: Yes, I think bicycles are still quite popular, especially among people who ride in the mornings to stay fit and save money. For example, many commuters cycle to work in smaller cities where traffic is heavy and public transport is limited.

× Oh yes, I had a bicycle.

✓ Oh yes, I had a bicycle.

No correction needed. Sentence correctly uses past tense to answer examiner's question about childhood possession.

× Oh my God.

✓ Oh my God.

Interjection; no grammatical tense error. No change required.

× I remember the time when I forced my parents to buy me one just because I saw a few of my friends getting the bicycle to school and I just thought it was so fascinating.

✓ I remember the time when I begged my parents to buy me one because I saw some of my friends riding their bicycles to school and thought it was so fascinating.

Problems addressed: 'forced my parents to buy me one' is unnatural for a child and 'getting the bicycle to school' is incorrect verb choice and article use. Also redundant 'just' twice and awkward conjunctions. Corrections: change 'forced' to 'begged' for natural meaning; use 'some' instead of 'a few' for tone (either is acceptable); replace 'getting the bicycle to school' with 'riding their bicycles to school' for correct verb and plural agreement; remove the second 'just' to avoid redundancy. Keep past tense throughout.

× Yes, I think bikes are popular in my country because there are many people who still uses their bicycles every day in the morning for being fit, healthy and I just feel that when do people get time for any of those because me especially.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are popular in my country because many people still use their bicycles every morning to stay fit and healthy, and I feel that few people have time for those activities, especially me.

Multiple grammar issues: 'uses' should be 'use' to agree with plural subject (subject-verb agreement / present tense). 'Every day in the morning' is redundant; use 'every morning'. 'For being fit, healthy' is awkward; use 'to stay fit and healthy'. The clause 'I just feel that when do people get time for any of those because me especially' is ungrammatical. Change to 'I feel that few people have time for those activities, especially me' to correct sentence structure and pronoun use. Maintain present tense for general statements.