Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Main issues: unclear vocabulary (wrote/ride confusion), grammar errors, and irrelevant or contradictory details. Be direct: state whether you had a bike, give a brief detail about learning to ride, and a specific memory or how you use bikes now. Keep it within 2–4 sentences and use correct verbs (ride, not write). Use linking words like 'and' or 'so' to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I did. I learned to ride it with help from my mother and grandfather when I was about six, and it was great fun. I still ride a bike sometimes to go to school because it is quick and frees me from waiting for the bus.

提案: Problems: hesitation ('MMM'), limited cohesion and vocabulary, and vague statements. Give a clear opinion, then support it with specific reasons and a short comparison. Use linking words (for example, however, because) and name modes of transport correctly.

例: Not very popular, in my opinion, because many people prefer public transport like trains and buses or private cars. For example, in big cities the bus and metro networks are extensive, so few people choose bicycles for long commutes.

× 'Yes I did, but I couldn't write so well so I was assisted by my mother, father or grandfather.'

✓ 'Yes, I did, but I couldn’t ride very well, so I was helped by my mother, father, or grandfather.'

'write' is incorrect here; the speaker meant 'ride' (wrong word choice not in list) which also affects verb usage. 'Was assisted' is passive but acceptable; 'was helped' is more natural. Also missing commas. Suggestion: replace 'write' with 'ride' and use 'helped' for natural phrasing, and add commas.'},{

× 'It was so fun and I'm continuing to write it now to go to school.'

✓ 'It was so fun, and I’m still riding it now to go to school.'

'continuing to write' is incorrect: 'continuing' with 'to write' is wrong for this context. The action is ongoing in present, so present continuous 'I’m still riding' fits. Also replace 'write' with 'ride'. Commas added.'},{

× 'I don't think so, because we often use public transport, for example.'

✓ 'I don’t think so, because we often use public transport.'

Sentence is acceptable but 'for example' is redundant and incomplete without examples. Remove 'for example' or add examples after it. No subject-verb agreement error normally; suggestion: remove filler.'

× 'Train bus MMM.'

✓ 'For example, trains and buses.'

Fragment 'Train bus MMM.' is not a complete sentence and uses wrong word forms and filler. Provide plural nouns and connect with previous sentence: 'trains and buses.' Avoid fillers like 'MMM.'

× 'Or we use our public private cars.'

✓ 'Or we use our public or private cars.'

Missing conjunction 'or' between 'public' and 'private' makes phrase unclear. Use 'public or private cars' or simply 'public or private transport.' Also 'our' is optional.}]}