Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise: give a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words, and add one specific supporting detail. Keep to no more than 3–4 sentences. Use linking words if adding details.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. In fact, I rode it almost every day after school, which helped me learn balance and made outdoor play more fun. Because of that, cycling became one of my favourite hobbies.

提案: Answer directly, correct grammar, and provide a specific reason with a linking word. Reduce hesitations and fix subject-verb agreement. Limit to 2–3 sentences with a clear connector (e.g., "because" or "since").

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because many people use them to stay fit and save money on transport. For example, commuters often cycle to work during the morning to avoid traffic and get some exercise.

× Yes, I had a bike in the childhood to be honest.

✓ Yes, I had a bike in my childhood to be honest.

Use of the definite article 'the' before 'childhood' is incorrect here. We say 'in my childhood' to indicate the period of the speaker's life. Suggestion: replace 'the childhood' with 'my childhood'.

× Umm, I would like uh, to say that riding a bike is uh, my hobby.

✓ Umm, I would like to say that riding a bike is my hobby.

The original sentence contains unnecessary filler words and misplaced commas but no major tense error. Remove extra fillers ('uh') and unnecessary comma after 'like' to improve clarity and naturalness. Suggestion: streamline the sentence by omitting fillers and keeping 'I would like to say that riding a bike is my hobby.'

× I consider, uh, bikes are so popular in my country.

✓ I think bikes are very popular in my country.

The verb 'consider' is not followed correctly here; more natural collocations are 'I consider that...' or simply 'I think...'. Also 'so popular' is informal and 'very popular' is more appropriate in this context. Remove filler 'uh' and restructure to 'I think bikes are very popular in my country.' Suggestion: use 'I think' or 'I consider that' plus a clause.

× This are because, uh, many people uh, want to keep fit because of they can use uh, the bikes.

✓ This is because many people want to keep fit because they can use bikes.

Several issues: 'This are' is subject-verb disagreement; use 'This is'. The phrase 'because of they can use' is ungrammatical: 'because' should be followed by a clause ('because they can use') or 'because of' followed by a noun phrase ('because of the ability to use bikes'). Also 'the bikes' is unnecessary — use 'bikes' when speaking generally. Remove fillers 'uh'. Suggestion: 'This is because many people want to keep fit because they can use bikes.'