Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural, use correct verbs and articles, and add a brief supporting detail. Avoid redundancy (e.g., "I could ride but didn't have my own" repeats the idea). Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: No, I didn't own a bike as a child. Instead, I often borrowed my friends' bikes and learned to cycle with them, which helped me gain confidence quickly.

提案: Organize your answer: start with a clear opinion, then give two specific reasons using linking words. Avoid vague phrasing and repetition; use accurate phrasing when mentioning concerns about accidents.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular, especially among young people, because they are cheap and convenient. However, on the downside, they are involved in many road accidents, so safety is a major concern.

× Actually I never owned a bike as a child.

✓ Actually I never owned a bike when I was a child.

The student used 'as a child' which is acceptable but 'when I was a child' is more natural with 'owned' in past tense; this aligns time reference clearly. Use consistent past time expression.

× I usually board my friend's bike and learn to cycle with them so I could ride but didn't have my own.

✓ I usually borrowed my friend's bike and learned to cycle with them so I could ride, but I didn't have my own.

Problems: 'board' is incorrect verb choice; correct is 'borrow' in past 'borrowed' (past tense issue as well). 'learn' should be past 'learned' to match past timeframe. Also add 'I' before 'didn't' for clarity and include a comma. Use past tense sequence for narration.

× Yeah, definitely. Bikes are very popular in our country because young people like me, they like to ride bikes.

✓ Yeah, definitely. Bikes are very popular in our country because young people like me like to ride them.

Redundant clause 'young people like me, they like' should be reduced to 'young people like me like'. Also replace 'ride bikes' with 'ride them' to avoid repetition. Maintain present simple tense 'are' and 'like' for general facts.

× Also, this is a concern that most, most of the road accidents are happening because of bikes.

✓ Also, it is a concern that many road accidents happen because of bikes.

Awkward structure 'this is a concern that most, most of the road accidents are happening' is redundant and uses progressive 'are happening' incorrectly for a general fact. Use 'it is a concern that' and simple present 'happen' for habitual events; use 'many' instead of 'most, most of'.

× So yeah, this is a concern.

✓ So, yes, this is a concern.

Minor style: 'yeah' is informal; 'yes' is more appropriate in a test. Add comma after 'So' for natural flow. This keeps sentence concise and formal.