Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Нужно говорить более грамотно и связно: начните с чёткой темы (например, "Yes, I did"), затем дайте одно-два уточняющих предложения с конкретными деталями. Избегайте повтора слов и ошибок в прошедшем времени. Используйте связки (for example, when I was about ... , I loved it because ...) и правильные фразы для выражения эмоций.

例: Yes, I did. It was a small pink bicycle that I received when I was about six years old. I loved riding it around my neighborhood because it made me feel free and confident.

提案: Сформулируйте ответ структурированно: сначала дайте общее утверждение, затем объясните причину и приведите пример. Избегайте повторов и непонятных слов. Используйте связки (for example, because, especially) и уточняйте, какие группы людей используют велосипеды и почему (экономия, здоровье, развлечение).

例: Yes, I think bikes are very popular in my country. For example, many children and students use bicycles because they are cheap and convenient. Additionally, cycling is a common leisure activity, so families often ride bikes together at weekends.

× Yes, I had and this color this pink color and when I was when I was chilled I don't love.

✓ Yes, I had one; it was pink, but I didn't like it when I was a child.

The original sentence has multiple sentence structure and tense errors. 'Yes, I had and this color this pink color' is ungrammatical and redundant; correct form is 'I had one; it was pink.' 'When I was when I was chilled' contains repetition and 'chilled' is incorrect for 'child' — likely a pronunciation error; use 'child'. 'I don't love' is present tense and incorrect for a past situation; use past tense 'I didn't like it when I was a child.' Suggestion: simplify into two clauses, ensure past tense for past events, remove repetitions, and use correct words ('child' not 'chilled').

× Yes in Kadosen Bikes are very popular but children especially among children many many children funny I enjoy writing some of fun and expenses etc

✓ Yes, in Kadosen bikes are very popular, especially among children. Many children enjoy riding them because they are fun and inexpensive.

The original sentence misuses forms and has word choice errors. 'I enjoy writing' is wrong contextually; the verb should be 'riding'. 'Funny' is incorrect for 'fun'. 'Expenses' is awkward; 'inexpensive' or 'cheap' fits better. Also punctuation and sentence boundaries are missing. Suggestion: break into clear sentences, use correct verb 'enjoy riding', choose appropriate adjectives ('fun', 'inexpensive'), and keep subject-verb agreement ('kids enjoy riding them').