Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more accurate, grammatical and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence stating whether you had a bike, then give 1–2 brief supporting details (age, who taught you, where). Use correct verb tenses and simple connectors (e.g., when, after). Keep it to 2–3 sentences and avoid extraneous words.

例: Yes, I did. I got my first bike when I was about seven, and my grandfather taught me to ride it in Beijing. After I learned, he even bought me a new seat so I could ride comfortably.

提案: Give a clear direct answer, then support it with specific, coherent reasons. Use linking words (for example, because, for instance, and) and accurate vocabulary (e.g., popular, recently, cycling events, trails). Provide one or two concrete examples and keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I think cycling is very popular recently because more people join organized cycling events and use bike trails. For example, there are weekend group rides to nearby mountains and lakes that attract many participants.

× I have the bike when I think maybe seven or eighty years old and how in the middle my grandfather teach me how to ride a bike in Beijing.

✓ I had the bike when I was about seven or eight years old, and my grandfather taught me how to ride a bike in Beijing.

Multiple past-tense verbs and time expressions are required, so use past simple: 'had' instead of 'have', 'was' for age, 'taught' for past action. Also 'seven or eighty' is incorrect number; should be 'seven or eight'. Remove the unclear phrase 'how in the middle'. Suggestion: express age as 'about seven or eight years old' and use past simple for completed past events.

× And after I learned it my grandfather bought

✓ After I learned, my grandfather bought me a bike.

The original sentence is incomplete and missing an object. Use a complete clause: 'After I learned' (past simple) followed by what he bought: 'bought me a bike.' Ensure sentence ends with a full idea.

× Yeah, I think it's very popular recently because I can hear many news about someone who was cycling into a mountain or the lake in the range of a lot of people there to talk about cycling.

✓ Yes, I think cycling has become very popular recently because I have heard many news stories about people cycling in the mountains and around lakes, and many people talk about cycling.

Mixes tenses and incorrect expressions. Use present perfect 'has become' and 'have heard' for recent changes and news. 'Many news' is uncountable; use 'many news stories' or 'a lot of news'. 'Someone who was cycling into a mountain or the lake' is unclear; change to 'people cycling in the mountains and around lakes.' Also simplify 'in the range of a lot of people there to talk about cycling' to 'many people talk about cycling.' This corrects tense consistency, countability, and clarity.