Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Clarify and correct the response while keeping it concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Fix grammatical mistakes, use correct vocabulary (e.g., “afraid,” “after some practice”), and keep to maximum five sentences. For example, mention what age you got the bike, how you felt at first, and what changed. Maintain coherence by using linking words like “but” or “after.”

例: Yes, I did. I had a small bike when I was about seven, but at first I was afraid of falling. After some practice and encouragement from my parents, I became much more confident and could ride on my own.

提案: Organize the answer with a clear topic sentence followed by two or three specific supporting points connected with linking words. Correct punctuation and add concrete examples or comparisons (e.g., “in cities” or “for commuting”) to make it more specific. Avoid run-on sentences by using connectors such as “however,” “also,” and “for example.”

例: Yes, I think so. However, motorbikes are still more common for daily commuting in many cities; nevertheless, cycling has become more popular recently because it is healthy, environmentally friendly and a good way to relax. For example, many people now use bicycles to get to work or to exercise on weekends.

× Yes, I did. I had a small bike when I was a child Africa I was the leader scare of falling but after sambratic I become much more confident

✓ Yes, I did. I had a small bike when I was a child. At first I was very scared of falling, but after some practice I became much more confident.

Multiple sentence structure issues: run-on sentence, missing punctuation, and unclear words. The original combined separate ideas without proper sentences and used incorrect or unclear words ('Africa' likely meant 'at first', 'leader scare' should be 'very scared', 'sambratic' likely 'some practice'), and wrong tense 'become' should be past 'became' to match past time frame. Suggestions: split into clear sentences with proper punctuation, replace unclear words with correct vocabulary, and use past tense consistently when describing past events.

× Yes, I do. However, motorbikes are much more common for daily transportation in recent years cycling has also become more popular because it is healthy, environmentally friendly and a great way to relax.

✓ Yes, I do. However, motorbikes have been much more common for daily transportation in recent years. Cycling has also become more popular because it is healthy, environmentally friendly, and a great way to relax.

Run-on sentence and tense consistency issues: the original lacked appropriate punctuation between clauses and used simple present 'are' with the time phrase 'in recent years' which is better expressed with present perfect 'have been' to show change over time. Also missing comma before 'and' in a list. Suggestions: separate clauses into sentences, use present perfect for recent trends, and punctuate lists correctly.