Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and more concise. Start with a direct topic sentence, correct mistakes, and add one or two relevant details using linking words. Avoid fillers and unclear words. For example, correct 'AI' and 'my praise' to intended words, use ‘when’ to show age, and include how you felt or learned.

例: Yes, I did. I had a small blue bicycle that my parents gave me when I was seven. I remember they taught me how to balance and pedal, and I used to ride it around the neighborhood every afternoon.

提案: Give a clear opinion and support it with specific reasons and linking words. Correct grammar (use 'are' and proper tense), avoid vague or incorrect claims like 'brakes not available'. Mention factors such as infrastructure, culture, or economics to justify your view.

例: Not really. Cars are much more common because our cities lack safe bike lanes and public campaigns promoting cycling. As a result, most people prefer cars for convenience and comfort, especially for long commutes.

× Yes I did, I had AI, had a blue bike. Uh, my praise my parents taught me when I was 7.

✓ Yes, I did. I had a blue bike. My parents taught me when I was seven.

Errors: 'I had AI, had a blue bike' appears to include a typo 'AI' and repetition of 'had'; 'my praise my parents taught me' is ungrammatical. Type: Past tense issue because the speaker is describing past events but the sentence structure and extra words disrupt correct past-tense statements. Correction details: Remove the stray 'AI' and redundant 'had', split into two clear past-tense sentences, and place the subject 'My parents' before the verb 'taught'. Suggestion: Keep past-tense verbs simple and place subject before verb (My parents taught me). Spell out numbers under ten in formal speech ('seven'). Ensure no stray words or repetitions are included.

× No, the brakes not available in my country and the car is the most important. Everyone using was using the car everywhere.

✓ No, brakes are not widely available in my country and cars are considered most important. Everyone was using the car everywhere.

Errors: 'the brakes not available' omits the auxiliary verb and uses the definite article incorrectly; 'the car is the most important' overgeneralizes with a singular noun; 'Everyone using was using the car everywhere' has wrong word order and redundant tense markers. Types: Incorrect use of the definite article and Past tense issue/verb structure. Correction details: Use no article with a general plural 'brakes' or say 'the brakes' only when referring to specific brakes; add auxiliary 'are' for present-tense state; use plural 'cars' when speaking generally; reorder and correct the past progressive/simple past ('Everyone was using cars everywhere' or 'Everyone used cars everywhere'). Suggestion: For general statements use plural nouns without 'the' (brakes, cars) and use correct auxiliary verbs (are/is). Keep consistent tense; here present-state 'are not available' or past 'were not available' must match context. I chose present for availability and simple past for actual usage: 'Everyone was using the car'.