Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more grammatically accurate, concise and use past tense consistently. Start with a clear topic sentence, then briefly add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler sounds (uh) and repetition.

例: Yes, I did. I owned a small bicycle when I was about eight, but I couldn’t ride it well at first. For example, I kept losing my balance and was afraid of falling, so I only practiced a few times before my parents taught me properly.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence, then add a specific reason or example using linking words. Use more precise vocabulary (commonly used, commute) and avoid repeating words like 'actually' and 'use the bikes'.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country, especially in cities. For instance, many people commute by bicycle because it is cheap and convenient, and you can often see dedicated bike lanes and crowded streets during rush hour.

× I remember when I was a child, I have a bike, but I couldn't ride it.

✓ I remember that when I was a child, I had a bike, but I couldn't ride it.

The sentence mixes past and present tenses incorrectly. 'I remember' (present) can be followed by a past-tense clause for a past event: use 'had' (past) instead of 'have'. Suggestion: keep the time reference consistent by using past tense for the situation described (had), so: 'I remember that when I was a child, I had a bike.'

× I always afraid of falling.

✓ I was always afraid of falling.

The sentence lacks the necessary auxiliary verb 'was' to form the past-state description. 'Afraid' is an adjective and needs a linking verb (was) in past context. Also the progressive 'of falling' is correct. Suggestion: add the correct form of 'to be' for past tense: 'I was always afraid of falling.'

× Actually yes, I think bikes are popular in my country and also in my city because I see in the streets many men and women use the bikes to go anywhere they want.

✓ Actually, yes, I think bikes are popular in my country and also in my city because I see many men and women in the streets using bicycles to go anywhere they want.

Word order and verb forms are awkward. 'I see in the streets many...' is unnatural; place 'in the streets' after 'see' or restructure. Use 'using bicycles' (verb + -ing form) to describe an ongoing action and 'bicycles' is more natural than 'the bikes' in this general statement. Suggestion: reorder to 'I see many men and women in the streets using bicycles...' to improve clarity and correct verb form.

× several times I tried to uh, ride a bike, but I couldn't because I always afraid of falling.

✓ Several times I tried to ride a bike, but I couldn't because I was always afraid of falling.

Combine corrections: capitalize sentence start; 'tried to ride' is correct, but maintain past tense consistently and include 'was' before 'always afraid'. Also avoid filler 'uh' in formal answers. Suggestion: write 'Several times I tried to ride a bike, but I couldn't because I was always afraid of falling.'

× I see in the streets many men and women use the bikes to go anywhere they want.

✓ I see many men and women in the streets using bikes to go anywhere they want.

Original repeats similar idea twice and uses 'the bikes' which wrongly implies specific bikes. Use plural 'bikes' without 'the' for general reference, and position 'in the streets' appropriately. Also use 'using bikes' (verb + -ing) to describe action. Suggestion: 'I see many men and women in the streets using bikes to go anywhere they want.'