Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant with a good structure (topic sentence plus supporting details). To improve, make the response more concise and natural by avoiding minor grammar slips and run-on sentences. Use a linking word to connect details and vary vocabulary (e.g., use 'often' or 'regularly' instead of repeating 'every'). Also correct the small grammar error: 'bought me' should be 'bought it for me'.

例: Yes, I did. It was a small red bicycle that my parents bought for me for my seventh birthday. I often rode it around the neighbourhood every afternoon with my friends, and I loved exploring nearby streets on it.

提案: The answer addresses the question but is slightly repetitive and could be more specific. Improve by giving a concise topic sentence, then add a specific reason or example, and use linking words to make it coherent. Replace vague phrases like 'very much popular' with natural expressions such as 'quite popular' or 'widely used.'

例: Yes, bicycles are quite popular in my country. For example, many children and teenagers cycle home from school in the evenings, and in cities people often use bikes for short trips because they are cheap and convenient.

× My parents bought me for my seventh birthday and I used to ride it around the neighbourhood every afternoon with my friends, I loved it.

✓ My parents bought it for my seventh birthday, and I used to ride it around the neighbourhood every afternoon with my friends. I loved it.

The original sentence omits the direct object for 'bought' ('bought me' is incorrect in this context) and incorrectly joins two independent clauses with a comma (comma splice). The correct object is 'it' (the bike). Also separate the clauses into two sentences or use a coordinating conjunction with a comma. Suggestion: ensure transitive verbs have correct objects and avoid comma splices by using a period or appropriate conjunction.

× Yes, bikes are very much popular in my country.

✓ Yes, bikes are very popular in my country.

The phrase 'very much popular' is not idiomatic; 'popular' is an adjective that pairs with 'very' for emphasis, not 'very much'. Use 'very popular' or 'much more popular' in comparative contexts. Suggestion: use 'very popular' to modify adjectives.

× You can see children riding bicycles in the evening after school hours with their friends and it's quite popular.

✓ You can see children riding bicycles in the evening after school with their friends, which shows bikes are quite popular.

The original sentence is slightly awkward and contains a vague 'it's quite popular' that poorly refers back to 'bikes'. This is a sentence structure clarity issue. Rewriting to make the referent explicit improves coherence. Suggestion: make the subject explicit (bikes) or use a relative clause to show the link.