Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar, clarity and coherence. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g. “Yes, I did.”), then give one or two specific supporting details. Use correct verb forms and simple past tense for childhood events, and avoid unclear words. For example, say who gave the bike, when you got it, and a brief detail about how you used it. Keep to no more than 3–4 sentences and use linking words like “and” or “because” if needed.

例: Yes, I did. My parents bought a bicycle for me when I was eight, and I used it to ride to school and play with friends. I remember practicing balance in the park every afternoon, which helped me become confident on two wheels.

提案: Be more concise and organized. Begin with a direct opinion sentence (e.g. “Not really.”), then provide two clear reasons using linking words like “because” or “mainly because.” Avoid fillers (uh, um) and repetition. Use specific vocabulary (motorbikes, convenient, traffic, cost) and give a short example or result to support your point.

例: Not really. Most people prefer motorbikes because they are faster and more convenient for commuting in busy cities. For example, many commuters choose motorbikes to avoid traffic and save time during rush hour.

× Yes, when I wear a dry. I've had a buy from my parents.

✓ Yes, when I was a child I had a bike that my parents bought for me.

Multiple issues: incorrect verb tense and word choice. 'When I wear a dry' is unintelligible; likely meant 'when I was a child' (past time reference -> past tense). 'I've had a buy from my parents' mixes present perfect with wrong nouns/verbs. Use simple past 'my parents bought' to match past time. Also use 'a bike' not 'a buy'. Suggestion: identify the intended meaning and use simple past for completed past events and correct vocabulary (bike, bought).

× MMM, not really, because nowadays people enjoy, uh, people like to drive motorbike because it's uh, it's fast, it's convenient and that's why people would drive.

✓ Not really, because nowadays people prefer to ride motorbikes; they are fast and convenient, so many people choose to drive them.

Problems: awkward repetition and incorrect verb/noun forms. 'People enjoy, uh, people like to drive motorbike' repeats subject and uses singular 'motorbike' where plural 'motorbikes' fits general statement (singular/plural issue). Use present simple 'prefer' or 'like' for habitual present. 'Would drive' is conditional/unnecessary; use 'choose to drive' or 'ride' to express typical behavior. Also improve cohesion by removing filler and combining clauses. Suggestion: use present simple for general truths, correct pluralization, and avoid redundant phrases.