Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer, correct grammar, and organize into a brief 2-3 sentence response with linking words. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific details (age, color, a short memory) using correct tense and articles. Avoid filler words and repetition.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. It was a blue bike that I began riding when I was about seven, and I remember feeling very excited the first time I rode it without training wheels.

提案: Answer directly, fix grammar and redundancy, and provide one clear reason with a linking word. Use simpler, accurate phrases (e.g., "not very popular") and avoid repeating words. Keep it to 2-3 sentences.

例: I don't think bicycles are very popular in my country. Most people prefer motorcycles because they are faster and more convenient for commuting in busy cities.

× I used to have a bike when I was a shy yes.

✓ I used to have a bike when I was a child, yes.

The sentence contains incorrect word choice and order: 'shy' is wrong here and 'yes' is misplaced. This is a sentence structure/word choice error. Replace 'shy' with 'child' to match the intended meaning and move 'yes' to the end with a comma. Suggestion: keep the subject and time phrase together ('when I was a child') and place short confirmations ('yes') after a comma.

× I remember it was a blue bike and I started riding it on when I was around seven.

✓ I remember it was a blue bike, and I started riding it when I was around seven.

The extra preposition 'on' after 'riding it' is incorrect and the sentence needs a comma before the coordinating conjunction. This is a present-tense memory statement plus a past action; keep 'remember' (present) and the remembered event in past tense. Remove 'on' and add a comma before 'and' to improve clarity.

× It was super thrilling experience.

✓ It was a super thrilling experience.

This sentence is missing the indefinite article 'a' before the noun phrase 'super thrilling experience'. This is a sentence structure/article omission error. Add 'a' because 'experience' is a singular countable noun.

× So yeah.

✓ So, yeah.

This fragment is acceptable in spoken English but punctuation improves written clarity. Add a comma after 'So' when writing to reflect the intended pause. It's a sentence fragment used as a discourse marker; no verb is required in informal speech.

× In my own personal opinion, I think no bike is not really popular popular things in my country because most of the people here we use motorcycle instead because it's faster and more convenient.

✓ In my opinion, bikes are not really popular in my country because most people here use motorcycles instead, since they are faster and more convenient.

This sentence has multiple issues: double negation ('I think no bike is not'), repeated word ('popular popular'), incorrect pronoun/subject insertion ('the people here we use'), and singular/plural mismatches ('motorcycle' vs 'motorcycles'). According to the allowed error types, use corrections for pronoun use, pluralization and sentence structure. Simplify 'In my own personal opinion' to 'In my opinion', change 'no bike is not' to 'bikes are not', remove the extra 'popular', drop the unnecessary 'we', pluralize 'motorcycles' and match verbs ('use') and add a clause connector 'since' or 'because' plus plural 'they are' to refer to motorcycles. Suggestion: keep subject and verb aligned and avoid double negatives.