Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your answer more natural and grammatically correct by using a clear topic sentence, adding brief specific details, and using linking words. For example, correct verb forms and prepositions, and avoid redundancy. Keep it to 2–4 sentences. Mention who gave the bike, how you used it, and a short memory or feeling to enrich the response.

例: Yes, I had a bicycle when I was a child. My parents bought it for me, and I often rode it to school and to my grandmother's house. I remember feeling very proud and independent when I could cycle by myself.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence, then add specific supporting details using linking words. Clarify who uses bikes and why, and avoid vague phrases like “for example, teenager bikes.” Use reasons (cost, convenience, environment) and a short example or statistic if possible. Keep it within 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I think bicycles are quite popular in my country. For example, many teenagers use them to commute to school because they are cheap and convenient. In addition, some adults cycle for exercise or to avoid traffic.

× Yes, I had a bicycle when I was a child my parents bowed to me and I rode to go at school and go to my grandmother home.

✓ Yes, I had a bicycle when I was a child; my parents bought it for me, and I rode it to school and to my grandmother's home.

Multiple past-tense related errors: 'bowed to me' is a wrong verb form and word choice; correct is 'bought it for me' (past tense of buy). 'I rode to go at school' is ungrammatical — use 'I rode it to school' (past tense verb 'rode' with object 'it' and correct preposition). 'go to my grandmother home' needs possessive and preposition: 'to my grandmother's home'. Use of semicolon or separate sentences fixes run-on. Suggestion: keep verbs in simple past consistently, choose correct verb forms and include necessary objects and possessives.

× Yes, I think bikes are popular in my country because many people, for example, teenager bikes.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are popular in my country because many people use them; for example, teenagers often ride bikes.

The original is a fragment and has awkward structure: 'many people, for example, teenager bikes' is ungrammatical. Fix by providing a main clause 'many people use them' and a clear example clause 'for example, teenagers often ride bikes.' Also correct noun form 'teenager' to plural 'teenagers' and add a verb 'use' or 'ride' to make a complete sentence. Ensure tense/present simple consistency when stating general truths.