Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and avoid irrelevant stereotypes. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Use correct grammar (e.g., verb agreement, plural forms) and avoid repetition. Keep to under five sentences and use linking words like 'because' or 'so' correctly.

例: No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child. I preferred playing with dolls and other toys, so my parents bought me indoor toys instead of outdoor equipment. As a result, I learned to enjoy quiet, imaginative play rather than cycling.

提案: Avoid repetition and be more specific about when and where bikes are popular. Use linking words to structure your answer (for example: 'especially', 'for example', 'because'). Correct redundancy and be concise. Mention reasons or consequences to enrich the answer.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country. For example, I often see many children and teenagers riding bicycles in the park near my house, especially in the evenings when families go out together. This popularity is probably due to low transport costs and ample cycling paths in many cities.

× To be completely honest, I didn't have a bike when I was a child because I'm a girl and I only likes stops like stuffs like Barbie and some girly things.

✓ To be completely honest, I didn't have a bike when I was a child because I'm a girl and I only liked toys like Barbie and other girly things.

Issues: 1) 'only likes' is incorrect for the subject 'I' in past context; this is a subject-verb agreement and tense problem (IDs 2 and 5). Use past tense 'liked' to match 'didn't have' and the speaker referring to childhood. 2) 'stops' is wrong word choice; likely meant 'toys' (vocabulary error). 3) 'stuffs' is uncountable and informal; use 'things' or 'other items'. Suggestion: use consistent past tense for actions in childhood ('didn't have', 'liked') and choose correct nouns ('toys', 'things').

× Yes, I think so because whenever I walk past the field of my city, there are there are there are a lot of children riding a bike and especially when it is nighttime.

✓ Yes, I think so because whenever I walk past the fields in my city, there are a lot of children riding bikes, especially at night.

Issues: 1) Repetition 'there are there are there are' is a redundancy/structural error (ID 26). Remove duplicates. 2) 'a lot of children riding a bike' mixes plural and singular; use plural 'riding bikes' to agree with plural subject (ID 1/27). 3) 'the field of my city' is awkward; more natural is 'fields in my city' or 'the field in my city' (preposition/article choice, IDs 11 and 22). 4) 'when it is nighttime' is wordy; 'at night' is idiomatic (adverbial phrase). Suggestion: remove repeated words, ensure plural agreement, and use natural prepositions/articles and idiomatic time expressions.