Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is direct and grammatically correct, but it's too short and doesn't expand. To improve, give a brief reason or add a short comment to make your response more natural and engaging. Use one or two linking words (for example: because, so, though) and keep the total answer within 3–4 sentences.

例: No, I didn’t. I grew up in a busy city where my parents preferred me to walk or take public transport because it was safer. However, I always wanted one and would often borrow friends’ bikes to ride in the park.

提案: This answer is somewhat off-topic and contains unclear phrasing and redundancies. Focus first on answering the question directly with a clear topic sentence about popularity, then add 1–2 specific supporting details (where, who uses bikes, reasons). Avoid irrelevant personal appeals and fragmented sentences. Use linking words (for example: because, for example, therefore) and concise vocabulary.

例: Yes, bicycles are quite popular in my country because many people use them for short commutes and exercise. For example, cities have many bike lanes and numerous shops sell affordable models, so students and workers often cycle to work or school.

× Yes, in my country, there's lots of bicycle stores, especially in the shops.

✓ Yes, in my country, there are lots of bicycle stores, especially in shops.

The singular contraction 'there's' stands for 'there is' and should not be used with the plural noun 'lots of bicycle stores'. Use 'there are' for plural subjects. Also 'the shops' is unnecessarily specific; 'in shops' is more natural unless referring to particular shops. Suggestion: match 'there are' with plural nouns and avoid unnecessary definite article when speaking generally.

× And I think when I was a child, I really wanted a bike, but because there were lots of us in our family, my parents just couldn't afford to.

✓ And I think when I was a child, I really wanted a bike, but because there were so many of us in the family, my parents just couldn't afford one.

The phrase 'there were lots of us in our family' is understandable but awkward; use 'so many of us in the family' for natural English. Also the verb 'couldn't afford to' needs an object or infinitive (e.g., 'couldn't afford to buy one'), so replace with 'couldn't afford one' to complete the idea. Suggestion: use 'so many of us' for people and provide a clear object after 'afford'.

× Yeah, let me have one. Thank you.

✓ So I never got one. Thank you.

The original 'Yeah, let me have one' is inappropriate in past narrative—it's a request form and does not fit the context of explaining why the student did not have a bike. Replace with a past-result statement like 'So I never got one.' to match the past-tense narrative. Suggestion: ensure sentence meaning matches tense and context; use statements rather than requests when describing past events.