Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar, verb tense and clarity. Start with a clear topic sentence in past tense, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. For example, say when you got the bike, its size or colour, and a short memory or reason you remember it. Avoid unnecessary words and keep it under five sentences.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I got it when I was about six years old, and it was a small blue bicycle with training wheels. Because I practiced with my father every weekend, I learned to ride it quickly and remember those lessons fondly.

提案: Make your opinion clearer and give one or two specific reasons using linking words. Use full sentences and avoid filler sounds like 'uh'. Provide a brief comparison between bicycles and motorbikes to support your view.

例: I don't think bicycles are very popular in my country. Instead, motorbikes are more common because they are faster and more convenient for commuting in crowded cities. For example, many people choose motorbikes to save time during rush hour.

× Yes, I have one when I try.

✓ Yes, I had one when I was a child.

The student is describing a past situation (having a bike as a child) so the verb should be in the past tense. 'Have' (present) is incorrect here. Use 'had' to match the past time reference; also specify the time frame 'when I was a child' rather than 'when I try.' Suggestion: Use past simple for past habits or states (I had, I rode).

× It was a size of six years old I think.

✓ It was the size for a six-year-old, I think.

The original sentence has incorrect noun phrase order and uses 'years old' where a compound adjective is needed. Use 'six-year-old' as a hyphenated adjective modifying 'bike' or 'size for a six-year-old.' Also include an article 'the' and a preposition 'for' to show purpose. Suggestion: Use 'a size for a six-year-old' or 'a six-year-old size.'

× I don't think so. I think the most popular uh is motorbike, not bicycle.

✓ I don't think so. I think motorbikes are the most popular, not bicycles.

The student uses an awkward noun phrase 'the most popular uh is motorbike.' Use plural nouns 'motorbikes' and 'bicycles' and the plural verb 'are' to make a general statement about popularity. Also place 'the most popular' before the noun or use 'are the most popular.' Suggestion: For general statements about groups, use plural nouns and present simple (Motorbikes are more popular than bicycles).