Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct and coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes, I had a bike), then add two concise supporting details (how you got it and when). Avoid unclear phrases like “I had to buy one” and “I was later.” Use linking words (for example, and) to join details. Keep answers under five sentences.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My parents bought it for me as a birthday present, and it was blue. I was about six or seven years old, and I rode it every day around the neighborhood.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence then support it with specific reasons and use linking words. Correct grammar and word order (e.g., “young people go to school with them”). Provide one or two concise examples or specifics (commuting, errands) to make the answer more convincing.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. Many people use them for short-distance travel, for example students ride bikes to school and adults use them for shopping or commuting to nearby workplaces.

× Yes, I had to buy one.

✓ Yes, I had bought one.

The student is describing possession in the past. 'Had to buy' means 'was required to buy' (modal-like obligation), which changes the meaning. The intended meaning is past perfect possession before another past reference; 'had bought' or simply 'I bought one' fits. Use 'I bought one' if no earlier past context is needed; use 'I had bought one' if contrasting with a later past event. Suggestion: Use 'I bought one' for a simple past statement about a past action, or 'I had bought one' if you want to show it happened before another past event.

× I was later.

✓ I got it later.

'I was later' is incomplete and ungrammatical - 'was' needs a complement (adjective, noun, or clause). The student likely meant they obtained the bike later compared with something else. Use 'I got it later' or 'I bought it later' to express receiving/purchasing at a later time. Suggestion: Use a verb of obtaining like 'got' or 'bought' plus the object: 'I got it later.'

× It was blue in color and I think I was around six to seven years when I had it.

✓ It was blue, and I think I was around six or seven years old when I had it.

Redundant phrase 'blue in color' is wordy; 'blue' suffices. The age expression needs 'years old' after the number, and use 'six or seven' (not 'six to seven years' in conversational phrasing). Also include a comma before 'and'. Suggestion: Say 'It was blue, and I think I was around six or seven years old when I had it.'

× Bikes are very popular in my country.

✓ Bicycles are very popular in my country.

The original sentence is grammatically acceptable in present tense, but 'bikes' is informal and later the student uses 'People use them for short distance travel' which needs clarity. Replacing 'bikes' with 'bicycles' is stylistic, not strictly required. If keeping 'bikes' is preferred, it's correct as is. Suggestion: Either keep 'Bikes are very popular in my country.' or use 'Bicycles are very popular in my country.' for a more formal tone.

× People use them for short distance travel, especially the young young people, go they to school and older people as well.

✓ People use them for short-distance travel, especially young people who go to school, and older people as well.

Several issues: 'short distance' should be hyphenated as 'short-distance' when used as a compound adjective before 'travel.' The phrase 'the young young people' repeats a word and is incorrect. Word order 'go they to school' is ungrammatical; the correct relative clause is 'who go to school.' Finally, punctuation and conjunctions needed to connect ideas clearly. Suggestion: 'People use them for short-distance travel, especially young people who go to school, and older people as well.'