Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Focus on clarity, correct grammar and organization. Start with a clear topic sentence answering the question, then add one or two specific supporting details. Correct common errors (e.g. 'bibe' -> 'bike', tense and article use). Use linking words to connect ideas and keep answers under five sentences.

例: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child. Instead, I preferred small toys and toy cars because my parents thought I was too young to ride a real bike. However, I often watched older children ride bikes and wished I could join them.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence and then support it with specific reasons and examples. Use linking words (e.g., 'because', 'for example', 'also') and correct word order. Avoid repeating words; be concise and natural.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country because many people use them for exercise and short trips. For example, adults often cycle in parks for fitness, students ride to school, and families go on weekend bike rides together.

× I didn't have a bibe when I was so small.

✓ I didn't have a bike when I was very small.

The sentence has a spelling error ('bibe' -> 'bike') and a word choice issue: 'so small' is awkward in this context; 'very small' or 'a child' is more natural. The tense (past) is correct, so only spelling and word choice are adjusted. Suggestion: use correct spelling and prefer 'very small' or 'as a child' to sound natural.

× I like so I like somebody like toys, toys cars and state bike.

✓ I liked toys, toy cars and a tricycle/ride-on bike when I was a child.

This sentence is ungrammatical and repetitive. The student uses present 'I like' but context is past ('when you were a child'), so past tense 'I liked' is appropriate. 'Somebody' and 'state bike' are incorrect words here; likely meant 'toy cars' and 'a tricycle' or 'a ride-on bike'. Remove repetitions and meaningless words. Suggestion: match tense to context, use specific nouns (toy cars, tricycle) and avoid repeating words.

× I think so many people with it like adults young people and kids like for fun for exercise with it?

✓ I think many people use bikes, including adults, young people and kids, for fun and for exercise.

The original mixes structures and has incorrect word order and unnecessary words ('with it', repeated 'like'). The question asks about general popularity, so present simple is correct: 'I think many people use bikes'. Use 'including' to list groups and 'for fun and for exercise' for purposes. Remove the question mark and 'with it'. Suggestion: use clear subject-verb-object order ('people use bikes') and concise purpose phrases.