Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid fillers (e.g., "Umm"). Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details with linking words. Use varied vocabulary (e.g., "cycled" instead of repeated "rode") and correct small grammar issues (omit "the" before neighborhood).

例: Yes, I had a small bike as a child. I often cycled around the neighborhood with a couple of friends, and sometimes we even rode to school when the weather was nice.

提案: Begin with a clear, complete topic sentence and use linking words for coherence. Correct punctuation and add more specific examples or brief statistics if possible. Replace generic phrases with precise vocabulary (e.g., "commuting" and "shared bike schemes").

例: Yes, I believe bikes are very popular in my country. Because of heavy traffic and low costs, many people use bicycles for short commutes; for instance, students and office workers often use shared-bike schemes during weekdays, and families ride bikes recreationally at weekends.

× Yes, I had a small bike when I was a child and I usually rode the bike with a couple of my friends.

✓ Yes, I had a small bike when I was a child and I usually rode it with a couple of my friends.

The sentence repeats 'the bike' where a pronoun 'it' is more natural and avoids redundancy. This is not a tense error but fits under past tense/context; use 'it' to refer back to the already mentioned singular noun. Suggestion: replace repeated noun with appropriate pronoun to improve cohesion.

× Umm, we rode along the neighborhood and sometimes went to school as well.

✓ Umm, we rode around the neighborhood and sometimes went to school as well.

'Rode along the neighborhood' is not idiomatic English. The correct preposition for moving within an area is 'around'. This is a preposition/adverb usage issue: change 'along' to 'around' to convey moving around within the neighborhood. Suggestion: use 'around the neighborhood' for general movement within the area.

× Yes, I think so Bikes are popular in most countries for short trips and commuting because of traffic and low cost.

✓ Yes, I think so. Bikes are popular in most countries for short trips and commuting because they help avoid traffic and are low-cost.

The original combines two independent clauses without proper punctuation and has an unclear phrase 'because of traffic and low cost.' Split into two sentences and clarify the causal reasons: bikes help avoid traffic and are low-cost. Also add a hyphen in 'low-cost' when used as a compound adjective. Suggestion: separate clauses with a period and make the cause-and-effect clear.

× For example, many students and office workers use shared bikes to travel short distances and people also ride them at weekends.

✓ For example, many students and office workers use shared bikes to travel short distances, and people also ride them on weekends.

In American English 'on weekends' is the correct prepositional phrase; in British English 'at weekends' is acceptable. To be consistent and clear, use 'on weekends' here. Also add a comma before the coordinating conjunction 'and' joining two independent clauses. Suggestion: choose the preposition that matches the intended variety of English and include comma for clarity.