Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise, correct grammar, and add one or two specific details. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms and word choices, and use a linking word for clarity. Limit to 3–4 sentences. For example, say who gave the bike, when, and a specific memory or feeling.

例: Yes, I had a bike as a child. My grandparents bought it for my second birthday, and I remember riding it every afternoon around the neighborhood with my friends. It made me feel free and excited because I could explore further than before.

提案: Give a direct opinion, use correct tense and clearer linking words, and provide a specific reason and brief example. Avoid small grammar mistakes and awkward phrases. Keep answer to 3–4 sentences and use linking words like "however" or "nowadays" to contrast past and present.

例: Yes, bicycles used to be very popular when I was a child because many students rode them to school. However, nowadays motorcycles have become more common since they are faster and more convenient for longer commutes. For example, my cousin switched to a motorcycle after starting work because it saved him a lot of travel time.

× Yes, I had a bike when I was a child, my grandparents body for me for my 2nd birthday and it was so wonderful that I couldn't stop writing it with my friends around the neighborhood.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My grandparents bought it for me for my 2nd birthday, and it was so wonderful that I couldn't stop riding it with my friends around the neighborhood.

Errors: 'body' is a wrong word (likely 'bought'), so this is a word-choice/verb error and also the sentence run-on needs splitting. 'writing' is incorrect; the correct verb is 'riding'. Also capitalization: start new sentence with 'My'. Suggestion: use the correct past tense verb 'bought' and the correct verb 'ride' in past progressive/simple as context requires; split into two sentences or use commas with conjunctions to avoid run-on sentences. Ensure pronouns are correct (it refers to the bike) and verbs match past tense context.

× Oh, I think bicycles were very popular when I was a child because many students brought them to school until they reached Senior High.

✓ Oh, I think bicycles were very popular when I was a child because many students brought them to school until they reached senior high school.

Errors: 'Senior High' is punctuation/capitalization and style issue; 'senior high school' is the clearer noun. The tense 'were' is acceptable because the speaker refers to the past ('when I was a child'), but ensure consistent register. Suggestion: keep past tense 'were' and use the full noun 'senior high school' in lower case unless it's a proper name.

× But nowadays they have largely been replaced by motorcycles, which are faster air, more convenience for longer commutes.

✓ But nowadays they have largely been replaced by motorcycles, which are faster and more convenient for longer commutes.

Errors: 'faster air' is incorrect — likely intended 'faster and'. 'more convenience' incorrectly uses the noun 'convenience' where the adjective 'convenient' is required. Suggestion: use the conjunction 'and' to connect adjectives and use the adjective form 'convenient' after 'more' to modify the implied noun or situation ('more convenient for longer commutes').